Radiation

Jokes

"The Russians wouldn't lie about radiation levels, would they?"

"Sure, no bull."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Image if a Hispanic Scientist discovered the radiation produced by black holes...

They would have called it "Joaquin Radiation".

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Jedi Master finally named after being found dead from radiation poisoning in Ukraine

Obi Wan Chernobi

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the most adorable thing about Chernobyl?

A cute radiation poisoning

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A guy walks into a bar wearing a head to toe radiation suit

The bartender says “I’ve heard of clothing that protects you from the elements, but this is outrageous”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?

Foe-tons

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about that theoretical physicist who went insane studying cosmic background radiation?

He said he couldn't tell where reality ended... and the paranoid delusions began!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the difference between reality and fantasy?

In fantasy, if you're exposed to radiation, you become spider-man. In reality if your exposed to radiation, you get visited by spider-man

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you get after exposing orange juice to gamma radiation?

The Incredible Pulp

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why don't we measure radiation decay in lives?

Because /#HalfLivesMatter

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

I asked Alexa, what’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

Dark soy sauce is used in Chinese cooking to add colour and flavour to dishes. Light is an electromagnetic radiation within a certain portion of the electro magnetic spectrum.

Thanks Alexa - you’re not technically wrong....


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between the Chinese and the Japanese?

Radiation sickness.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White?

Great... Now people will think France has been there

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The radiation that Salman wants to avoid for life is..

Ex-Rai.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you get when you mix China's ocean pollution with Japan's fukishima radiation?

EDsFrGTsd and it only has one eye.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The American flag that was planted on the moon has turned white due to solar radiation.

Now future historians will think the French got there first.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the most important part of Japanese real estate?

Radiation radiation radiation

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the most important part if Japanese real estate?

Radiation radiation radiation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Can't sleep but thought of a funny joke. What the most important part of Japanese real estate?

Radiation radiation radiation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Who knew what radiation can cure other than cancer.

researchers have found Cure for tiny willies.

Statement: "we all know that being in a close proximity to radiation causes abnormal GROWTH."

worst case scenario- instead for one you will have two dicks, can fuck her twice at once

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did u know that al the flags on the moon have been bleached white due to radiation?

This makes the moon an official province of France

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Ive been trying to measure electromagnetic radiation by counting the number of oscillations of the perpendicular electric and magnetic fields per second

My head was sore after a minute, but now it mega hertz

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I guess ill take it

you mean you flooded my building with dangerous electromagnetic radiation as a prank?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

All of the flags on the moon have been bleached white by the radiation from the sun..

.. making it officially French territory.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you know that the American flag on the moon was bleached due to solar radiation?

Now it looks like the French landed there first

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Greatest Insult To Hicks West Virginians

You're so imbred your family tree looks like a Ferris Wheel!

Thought about this watching the Fallout 76 trailer, and then realizing that radiation isn't even needed to create mutants there.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call the fallout from an Israeli nuke?

Zionizing radiation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white...



...so now it looks like France landed there.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

All the American flags placed on the moon has been turned white by solar radiation

Great now it looks like France we’re there.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Due to radiation the American flag on the moon is now white

Now it looks like the French went there...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

They say you shouldn't keep a phone in your front pocket because of the radiation

But fuck it, my phone is insured.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So Ive heard the American flags on the moon are white now because of solar radiation.

Does this mean the French own it?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag.

Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There is nothing that oscillates faster than gamma radiation.

Except for the bitcoin price of course.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend recently visited Chernobyl

My friend recently visited Chernobyl for a bachelor party weekend; before long he became incredibly drunk, fell over, and badly sprained his ankle. "It'ss all that radiation making me so wooozy...", he slurred. "Yes", I agreed, "It's definitely Chernobyl-y knees".


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why would atomic weapons be useless against Turkish rebels?

Because roaches can survive nuclear radiation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Squishing breasts an blasting them with radiation to cancer prevention is like...

Sticking a Molotov cocktail up your butt and spraying sparks at it for prostate health.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun.

Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation.

In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you get when you expose an infant to high levels of radiation?

Arrested you sick fuck!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If four out of five people suffer from radiation poisoning...

Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo momma's so fat...

...when she farted, they had proof for the hawking radiation theory.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun.

Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There are six American flags on the Moon.

Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.

So it looks like the French landed there.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My japanese friend keeps calling latex gloves pentadick condoms

i guess the radiation is getting to his head too

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The side effects of flux capacitor radiation include but are not limited to the following

Turning into a Teen Wolf



Parkinson's

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did Japan do so bad in the World Cup final?

They were exposed to radiation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two scientists get high.

"Dude...dude...is radiation a particle or a wave..."

"Well both because they're are three different "parts" to the electromagnetic radiation spectrum such as alpha particles-"

"You're ruining it Steve...."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Your momma so fat.... When she farts, all anyone can smell is Hawking Radiation.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do pirates love sunny weather?

Because there's lots of AYE ARRR (IR) radiation!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE