Quarterback

Jokes

What's it called when a black college quarterback is arrested after cops mistook the bird poop on his car hood for cocaine?

A load of crap.

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VSCO Girls

no one:

vsco girls: look at my hydroflask and shirtless pics of my quarterback boyfriend

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback

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Whats a jews favorite football position?

Quarterback

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Why does a football coach angrily kick the vending machine?

He wants his quarterback.

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Girlfriend's first football game.



A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied. “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles. But I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other o


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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

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Your momma's so dumb...

She thought a quarterback was a refund

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game...

They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a


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John's coach decided to let him play as quarterback for the upcoming football game.

The day before the game, he was walking across the street, and when he got to the other side, he realized he had dropped a quarter.

He tried to retrieve the quarter on the road, but got hit by a truck and died.

​

He never got his quarterback.

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Tom Brady is 5 times better than Nickelback

He's a quarterback

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How do you greet a quarterback who is also your good friend?

Sup Mahomes!

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Guy Takes His Blonde Girlfriend To Her First Football Game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you


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Whos your favorite backup quarterback?

“I think his name is Justin Case”

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his Quarterback.

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What do aldi and the nfl draft have in common?

They're both places you can get a quarterback

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Did you hear about the football coach who accidentally deposited $100.25 instead of $100 at the bank?

He went to go get his quarterback.

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I tried to stuff a football into the coin slot on the vending machine...

It just gave me my quarterback.

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What do american football league quarterback Kirk Cousins and president Donald Trump have in common?

They have both led their respective leagues in fumbles and interceptions over the last 2 years

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Blonde at the Super Bowl

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the super bowl game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her boyfriend as


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I can tell you one thing about the New York Jet's quarterback...

He may be young, but he's Darnold

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Your momma so fat

she thought a quarterback was a refund

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I wonder how often the defensive line in football makes fun of the other team's quarterback

Or maybe that's just too offencive

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Why is Jameis Winston a better reciever than quarterback?

Because he always catches assault charges

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My girlfriend was faithful to the end

Unfortunately, I was the quarterback

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A blonde joke

A guy brings his blonde girlfriend to her first ever football game. After the game he asks how she liked it.
“It was good!” The blonde replied, “but I don’t understand why they were fighting over .25 cents.”
The guy looks at her, perplexed.
“At the beginning of the game,” the blonde explains, “they tossed a coin. One team got it. An


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What kind of house does a quarterback live in?

Hut.

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Midget Quarterback

Sorry\- that's a little offensive.

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Midget quarterback

Sorry- that’s a little offensive.

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Whats the difference between a quarterback and Nickelback?

20 cents

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The Cleveland Browns gave me change for a vending machine and I still havent repaid them...

They are really persistent about getting their quarterback

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The Rams have hired two male cheerleaders and thats perfectly fine,

The patriots have had a female quarterback for years and no one has said anything.

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What does Tom Brady have to do if Giselle gets angry?

Quarterback

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So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted


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Its 14 funny

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a super bowl game. They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game he asked her how she liked it.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied. “I just don’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked,
“What do you mean?”
“We


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How's a quarterback become a receiver?

[deleted]

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What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarterback!

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A quarterback from a local football team is jogging through his neighborhood...

As he’s running he’s talking himself up like “yeah, you’re the best” “you’re gonna throw that ball so hard bro”

as he’s jogging he begins to hear screaming down the street and sees an area that seems brighter than the rest. He wraps around the corner to see what’s happening.

As he arrives to the light and screa


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Why did the football coach return to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

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Why did the football coach ask for a refund?

He wanted to get his quarterback.

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Who is a presents favorite quarterback?

Tim TeBOW

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Must have been a tough childhood for the Redskins quarterback...

Growing up knowing your parents are Cousins.

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Johnny was in class one day...

and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have sex with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quiet


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What's the aim of a Jewish football match?

Getting the quarterback.

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I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work...

...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive.

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Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser?

Because he missed a split-end on a curl.

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Little Tony

Teacher tells class today they are going to learn what each students dad does for a living.
Kid 1: my dad is a firefighter
Kid 2: my dad is a police
Little Tony says my dad is a male stripper at a gay bar and for the right price he will take a guy out back and give a hand job.
Disturbed by his response the teacher takes him out side and asked " is your dad really a st


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The Detroit Lions are having there worst football season ever

They haven't been able to catch the ball or even score a single touchdown because they have an atrocious quarterback. One night, the Lions manager is watching the news when he sees footage of the Bosnian Civil war. While he is watching, he sees a rebel fighter run up to a government building and toss a football sized bomb perfectly into a 4th story window.

"That's just


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American Football and the Blonde - Emailed from my mom

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfri


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