Pygmy

Jokes

The Great White Hunter

A wealthy American man has retired and is entering old age. Fearing that he hasn't lived his life to the fullest, he decides that the first thing he will do with his funds will be to fulfill a childhood dream of his: to go hunting in Africa and take down a gorilla.

He promptly arranges a flight to Africa. When he arrives, he tells the locals his intentions of gorilla hunting and


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What did the schizophrenic anthropologist say to the left-handed Mozambiquean vegi-pygmy he caught eating his Vicks VapoRub?

Nothing! It's a trick question! The pygmy was right handed! BWA HAHHAHAAA!

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Guy walks into his house with a duck under his arm and he says...

"...this is the pig I've been fucking"

Wife says "that's not a pig, that's a duck"

Guy says "I wasn't talking to you"



Credit to The Sopranos. Shoutout to that pygmy thing over at r/thesopranos

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What was the short guy enthusiastically shouting when they were picking teams in gym class

pygmy pygmy

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An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised to see a pygmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. "Did you kill that?" he asked. The pygmy answered: "Yes".

"That's amazing!!," said the explorer. "How big's your club?!?"
The pygmy replied: "Oh, There's about 150 of us."

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An explorer in the jungle comes across a single pygmy standing ontop of a freshly killed T-Rex.

Amazed, he asks the pygmy, " my, how did did you kill this huge and magnificent beast?"

"I killed it with my club..!" Answered the pygmy.

"Jesus! How big was your club to kill such a dangerous creature???" Asked the explorer.

"About 1,000.." answered the pygmy.


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I just had a drink called The Pygmy Stallion

I don’t know what was in it, but it made my throat a little hoarse.

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What do you call a selfish pig?

A pygmy.

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Whats the difference between a womens track team and a Pygmy village?

The Pygmy village is a bunch of cunning runts.

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An explorer in the jungle stumbles on a Pygmy holding a club next to a dead T-Rex,

[deleted]

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Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon?

Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt...

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Three salty sailors...

...Become shipwrecked and found themselves on an abandoned island. They all start by immediately trying to build a shelter for the night when they were suddenly captured by a clan of pygmy cannibals. The head pygmy shaman stated to the 3 sailors that they had to go out and forage for 10 fruits or berries of the same kind or else they would kill them and eat them. Hastily the 3 men set out to find


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I started breeding pygmy malamutes, and I gave one to my SO, but they left me before they saw the puppy.

All I said was,

"Hey, you're getting a little husky."

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What's the difference between a girl's track team and a pygmy tribe?

One is a bunch of cunning runts.

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What is the difference between a stalking African Pygmy and a jogging Jane Fonda?

One of them is a cunning runt.

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What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team?

The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts.

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What is the difference between a group of Pygmy riddlers and a lesbian track team?

One is a group of cunning runts and the other is a group of running cunts.

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A friend of mine got us two tickets to Brad Williams.

He said I've seemed really sad lately, and that I could use a pygmy up.

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The Hellarwe tribe.

There's a tribe of pygmies in Africa called the Hellarwe. They're an ancient tribe that settled the tall, savannah grasslands a long time ago and I had the fortune of going to visit them. I actually thought we were lost until I saw a pygmy jump up ahead of us accompanied by his fearsome warcry: "Wherethehellarewe"


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A pygmy wants to be popular

However, among his tribe, he's nothing special. He's pretty small despite his 18 years of age, he's not particularly attractive and he's a bit shy. Then, it occurs to him. He writes a letter to the Guinness Book of World Records, claiming that he has the smallest hands of any adult in the world. He includes a photo of his hands as well as measurements. A month later, he gets a


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What's the difference between a pygmy and a woman running?

One is a cunning runt, the other is a running cunt.

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