Potty

Jokes

I don't know how people have sex in a porta potty

There's no fucking room

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I don't know how people have sex in a porta potty

There is literally not fucking room

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I went to visit my baby cousin in New Jersey recently.

She is getting to be potty trained, but for some reason, she would always cry. We couldn't figure it out! One day I asked her why she would always cry. She just responded, " it's my potty and I can cry if I want to. "

* It's funny if you do the heavy New Jersey accent.

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How does the computer programmer potty train his son?

Ctrl+P

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I was watching a pet monkey climb around inside my friends bedroom, but that's when the shit hit the fan...

The monkey was fully potty-trained a week later, so that shouldn't happen again.

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My son yells out potty jokes in class

We’re afraid he has toilettes’ syndrome

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What syndrome has people barking out potty humor?

Toilette’s syndrome

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Using the latest animated film to potty train my son...

How to drain your dragon.

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What do you call a lycanthrope with a potty mouth?

A swearwolf!

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What's a toilet on a Portuguese jetty called?

A porto potty.

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You know how there is book for potty training called "Everybody Poops"

There should be a book on dealing with people called "Everybodys Full of Shit"

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To what extent does it take to potty prepare a young dog.

To what extent does it take to potty prepare a young dog. House instructing your little dog is concerning tolerance, and encouraging feedback. The objective is to ingrain sensible propensities and fabricate an in adoration bond together with your pet. It as a rule takes 4-6 months for a little dog to be absolutely house prepared. Be that as it may, a few young doggies could take up to a year.


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What language does a toilet speak?

Potty mouth.

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I took a poop this afternoon.

The guy sitting on the port-a-potty above me wasn't happy.

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What do you call a wizard who always has to use the bathroom?

Harry Potty

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My son finished potty training today!

I mean, he’s 31, but better late than never!

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My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training

And I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. The I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lo


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Potty Training

Potty training my toddler can be likened to the maiden voyage of the Titanic...

At the beginning we are hopeful and excited but by the end everyone’s crying and wet.

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I was trapped in a porta-potty.

Shit.

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Classic elementary school trap joke: Are you PT?

If you answered yes: "OMG you are a pregnant teacher!?
If you answered no: "OMG you are not potty trained!?



\*I distinctly remember this joke occurring semi-regularly at my elementary school about 20 years ago

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When I was younger my parents beat the shit out of me.

Oh don’t worry, it wasn’t abuse, just aggressive potty training.

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What do you call a bathroom in a wormhole?

A portal potty.

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What an outstanding result in potty training!

An envy pee.

(like an MVP, get it..OK I go away now)

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I wish Kanye's new song Lift Yourself would have come out 35 years ago

It wouldn't have taken me so long to get potty trained.

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Yo Mama is so poor...

She gave birth to you in a public port-a-potty.

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There was a crew on the job that had fun with practical jokes and most of them were harmless...NSFW

But then one day they somehow put the porta-potty on the roof.




They took that shit to an entirely different level.

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What is grosser than 1,000 dead babies in a Port 'o Potty?

One live one at the bottom trying to eat its way out.

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Where will you find Boston turds having fun on a Friday night?

At the potty!

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A guy thing....

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. The I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I as


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I found a bull that was potty trained

No bullshit!

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Ryan had to go potty real bad,

but the door to the potty was Lochte.

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What do you call a Kid that is potty trained by 3 months old?

a whiz kid

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Lol , Toilet (potty) Humour, funny

A : Have you heard of the movie "Constipation" ?
B: No --
A: Obviously because it hasnt come out as yet .. LOL
B: You are so fucking Stupid ..

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Why did the man eat his cereal in a port o potty?

He wanted a honey bucket of oats

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As an older man, I visited Boston and tried the bar scene

All the kids kept insisting that I did not know how to "potty." Silly, I have been using the "potty" since I was 2. They also thought it was funny to tell me since I was old I must not know where my Khakis are. I was obviously wearing them. Strange kids over there.

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A owner lets his dog out for its daily potty break. After ten minutes, the owner went out and could not find the dog. Where is the dog?

Doggone

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Potty Training

A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP.


THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. ABOUT EVERY 10 SECONDS OR SO HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER S


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I was upset about mistaking a time machine for a porta potty.

But then I realized that shit's in the past.

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I should get a dog named Barbie

When she has to go out I can say "come on Barbie, let's go potty"

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What did the terrorist dad say to the....

What did the terrorist dad say to the potty training son.


Peepee Bizon.

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Potty Training

Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:


1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
4. Pee
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button up


She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did a good job.


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Potty humor...

Have you ever taken a shit that smelled so bad, you had to re-evaluate your lifestyle? I either need to become a vegetarian, or do a colon cleanse with holy water.

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The Potty

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 15 seconds or so, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of his head with his right hand.
His mother says: "Billy, are y


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A port-a-potty truck blocked my car in at work so I couldn't leave..

But hey, shit happens.

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I spent the night at my brother's place

and had to share a double bed with my little nephew. He was kneeling beside his bed when I entered the room, so to be a good Christian example I knelt down on my side of the bed and closed my eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"Same as you," I replied.

"You'd better not," he said. "There's no potty o


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Potty Joke

> I was sitting on the toilet at the restaurant and looking at my phone. I went to wipe but set off the automated sensor and the toilet flushed.
>
>
>
> I exclaimed, 'Damn it, I wasn't finished!'
>
> The toilet responded, 'You were taking too long, I was tired of your shit.'


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Heres a shitty joke most people wont get:


Why did Eddie Murphy suspect his girlfriend was bulimic?

She just wanted to potty all the time, potty all the time, potty all the tiiiiime…

(dramatically intoned to the tune of his hit single [“Party All The Time”](http://youtu.be/bDbpzjbXUZI))

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Two toilets go to a potty

lol

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What's common between Marriage amp a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.

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Two boys sitting to pee

Two five year old boys are sitting at the potty to pee.

When one says, " Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"

" I've been circumcised." Says the second boy.

" What does that mean?"

"It means they cut the protective skin skin off the end."

" How old were you when it was cut of


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