Why did the ice skating hipster drown?
He did it before it was cool.
If you feel like you have already read this joke today, it's because I posted it earlier with a slightly different phrasing. I was going to edit it and accidently removed the post instead, so here it is again with better phrasing.
A 12 yr old had his first wet dream
Scared by the experience he went to his dad
Boy: umhh dad, Iam scared,i had a strange sensation in my peepee last night
Dad: don't worry son it was nutting
PS:My first OC
PPSif you have suggestions for better phrasing pls feel free to comment
A woman is worried that her husband is cheating on her
So she goes to her mom and expresses her worries. Her mom sits her down and tells her to check her husband's jacket in the evening for hair traces. If it was yellow, he was with a blonde, black with a brunette.
So her husband comes home and she inspects his jacket for hair traces but couldn't find anything, so exclaims angrily at her husband "WHO THE FUCK IS THE BALDY Y
Why was the programmer sexist?
Because he treats women like objects.
My T.V. broke
I called down to the lobby and asked them to send someone with a new TV. I reminded him, "NO COLOREDS!" He seemed a little shocked by my phrasing, but I don't see what's so offensive about it. I just really hate black people.
The hotel asked me what kind of T.V. I wanted
I said "No coloreds." He seemed SHOCKED by my phrasing but it's a misunderstanding, ya know? I really just hate black people.
I heard this one today.
A man asks a woman:
*Do you know which two holes are the most important on a female body?*
**You pig! How dare you ask a lady such a question?**
*Well I'll have you know, it's the nostrils*
**Oh, I'm sorry, why is that?**
*So she can breathe while she sucks a dick.*
Sorry for a poor phr
"Russel Brand reports he keeps being told he needs to shake up his image"
or, as people have been phrasing it 'Rustle brand'.
Why was 10 scared?
... because he was in the middle of 9-11!
Better phrasing recommendations appreciated :-)