What did the blubber salesman say when he found out the margins on petroleum were better?
Whale oil be damned!
What spell does America cast every time they invade a country in the Middle East?
My car knows how to do magic!
The only spell it knows is Expecto Petroleum
What does RoboCop use for fuel?
What spell do wizards use when they have dry skin?
Statistical Data on Petroleum Jelly
A woman doing research on petroleum jelly knocks on the door and a man answers with two older kids walking around at his toes. She asks the man "how do you use petroleum jelly?" The man answers "for hanky panky." The woman replies, "Really? How" The man answers "We put it on the keypad to our room, it's so greasy the kids won't touch it."
Did you hear about the newlyweds who didn't know the difference between putty and petroleum jelly?
Their windows fell out.