Perverted

Jokes

Some people say it's sick amp perverted to be a flasher...

...but I think it shows a lot of balls!

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I have an idea for a story that revolves around a perverted celibate...

He goes through life half cocked.

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What do you call a perverted alligator?

A masturgator

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What does a perverted frog say?

Rubit Rubit

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What does a perverted frog say?

rubbit

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I have a dig bick.

If you read that wrong you owe me an upvote you perverted son of b*tch!

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The Perverted Boss....

The boss at a small company was a very perverted guy. Everyone knew about it and usually kept their distance. The boss recently hired a new smoking hot secretary. Everyone told her to keep her distance from him but she wasn't fazed.

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One day the boss told the secretary that he has kept 100 dollars behind the couch in his office. She was free to bend


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What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky: You use a feather.
Perverted: You use the whole chicken.

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What's the difference between erotic and perverted?

Erotic is bringing a girl to orgasm with only a feather, perverted means the bird is still attached to it.

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Some people say it's sick and perverted to be a flasher.

I think it shows a lot of balls.

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What is a perverted pirates favorite type of story of the sea?

A whale tale.

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What Pokmon is the most perverted?

Any electric Pokémon because they like to pikachu in the shower.

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What are perverted fish called?

Bottom feeders.

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Why are receptionists perverted?

Because they're always checking people out.

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What did the perverted frog say?

“Rubbit.”

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Had to chase away a perverted peeping tom from my neighbour's window today

Nobody steps on my patch

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NSFW Two blondes go to a marriage counselor...

They were having problems with their marriage and needed professional help.

Stop be perverted

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Whats white and crawls up your leg?

Uncle Ben’s Perverted Rice

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I realised how perverted and wrong touching someone's butt is, but it was when i slapped a statue...

When i realised that i've hit rock bottom.

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Why did the bald, perverted woman put a famous German composer on top of her head?

She wanted to wear a Lewd wig.

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What does the perverted frog say?

Rubbit

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A mother is upset at the priest

A boy's mother goes to the priest who's been conducting gay conversion therapy sessions on her son. She says, "I don't know what you're doing, but my son isn't getting better, he's getting worse! He's more perverted than when he started!". The priest says, "Well that's odd. We're halfway through his therapy!" The mom says, "Exac


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The Hooker and the ILLEGAL Immigrant


"Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asks.

"$100" she replies.

In broken English, he says,
"Do you do immigrant style?

"No" she says.
"I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."

"No," she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.

"I pay


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What did the perverted frog say?

[deleted]

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I heard Trump has put more women in positions of power than any other president..

... in business and government you perverted bigot.

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What did the perverted frog say?

"Rubbit"

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What does a perverted frog say?

Rubbit

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You know what's white and crawls up your leg?

Uncle Ben's perverted rice.

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What is a perverted pickles favorite operating system?

[deleted]

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What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician?

A: David "Cop a Feel"

...ba dum cha!

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Did you hear about the perverted statistician?

Standard deviation wasn't enough for him anymore...

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Why are Chinese ducks so perverted?

Because they are all Peking ducks.

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Little Johnny's mom gets called to school one cold November day.

The Principal tells her that Johnny has been causing a lot of trouble and embarrassment around with his lewd and lecherous ways. The mom asks her to leave them alone for a while. Once alone in the room:
Mom: Take off my dress
LJ winces a bit but obliges.
Mom: Now take my bra off.
LJ does that, it wasn't the first time he thought...
Mom: And now, my panties.


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Now you see, I had this perverted friend back in high school

He was always doing stuff like spying on girls when they were changing, but he had the problem that he was always getting caught. So one day he comes to me and he tells me,

"Flareon, I'm always getting caught when I'm trying to stare at these girls, and I just don't know what I'm doing wrong."

And I ask him, "Well, what do you do, how


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Joe: I was shocked when I heard the perverted part in Handel's Messiah.

Moe: Perverted part? What are you talking about?
Joe: Where it goes "For we like sheep."

It wasn't kind of me to mention this: for the rest of your life, you'll think of this dumb joke whenever you listen to Messiah, unavoidably visualizing men in middle eastern garb getting busy with sheep. It's like hearing euthanasia as youth in Asia. Dang, unkind


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What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague?

If you need me, I'll be in my Lab.

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A friend asked me if I had an introverted or extroverted personality...

I'm actually perverted.

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A perverted chicken.

There was this perverted chicken that would rape every animal that he lives with in the barn. Be it the cows, pigs, ducks, you name it. One day the other animals see the chicken squirming violently in the ground. The pig goes "He finally gets what he deserves", the other animals nod in approval. The chicken then suddenly turns his head to look at them and says
"After I'


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What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

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Kinky and Perverted

What is the difference between perverted?? Kinky is when you tickle your lovers ass with a feather ... perverted is when you use the whole chicken!

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A woman went to a doctor a breast operation, he offered to numb her breasts

And he used Novocaine

You perverted fucks

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What do you call a perverted fat knight?

Sir Cum Ferrance

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What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky you use a feather, perverted you use the whole chicken.

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What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

.. I'm only Peking.

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Kinky involves a feather.

Perverted involves the whole bird.

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Did you hear the one about the perverted statistician?

He couldn't get off on the standard deviation

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What does a perverted cow do at night?

Beef Jerkey

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Why was the perverted math teacher arrested?

He got caught trying to put 42 into 17.

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What does the perverted frog say?

Rubbit!

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The perverted pianist

A classy bar is holding auditions for musical numbers, when a somewhat disheveled man comes in and starts playing a beautiful number on the grand piano. The manager adores his performance, "Is that an original number? What is the name of that lovely piece?"


"Yeah, I wrote it," the man replies as he slicks his hair."It's called 'I fucked my cou


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