# Pencil

# Jokes

**How do you rewrite a computer?**

With a pencil

**The teacher tells the class: 'Whoever gets the next question right, can go home early.'**

Benjamin throws his pencil to the front of the class. Teacher picks it up and asks: 'Who was that?'

Benjamin: 'Me, good day.'

**Joey and Katie are sitting in school,**

**"Goodvibes" - warning not for faint of heart**

**-Knock knock. -Whos there? -Broken pencil. -Broken pencil who?**

**Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?**

He worked it out with a pencil.

**Why is a maths teacher never constipated?**

She just works it out with a pencil

**What do Eminem and John Wick have in common?**

They all murder people with a pencil.

**What does a mathematician do if they're constipated?**

Just work it out with a pencil!

**What did the pencil say to the sharpener?**

Quit going in circles and get to the point!

**Have you heard about the comstipated mathematician?**

He worked it out with a pencil.

**Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?**

He worked out his logs with a pencil

**What does a mathematician do when constipated?**

He gets a pencil and works it out.

**Two gay men were...**

... on a plane. Let's call them Steve and Bill.

"Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Steve

"You crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..."

"Man, nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!"

Steve stands up and asks loudly:

"Could I have a pencil, pl

**What did the Constipated Mathematician do?**

Sat down and worked it out with a pencil!

**Why did the pencil stink?**

Because it was a #2

**How did the mathematician solve his constipation problem?**

He used a pencil and worked it out.

**Sunday School**

One Sunday morning, little Cindy is sitting in Sunday School while her teacher tells the Bible lesson for that day. Little Cindy’s peace and serenity is interrupted by a young boy who periodically pokes her in the back with a sharpened pencil. The teacher announces it is time for a little pop quiz and Cindy gets very excited to show off her knowledge of the Holy Trinity.

**Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?**

He worked it out with a pencil

**What do john wick and eminem gave in common?**

they kill people with a pencil

**What do Constipated Mathematicians do?**

Work it out with a pencil.

**Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?**

He worked it out with a pencil

**I finally hung up all of my pencil drawings.**

But i'm afraid it makes my house look kinda sketchy...

**What do mathematicians do when they get constipated?**

They try to work it out with a pencil.

**I was going to tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...**

...but it's kinda pointless.

**One Sunday morning**

there was a girl named Sarah sitting in Sunday school when she fell asleep. The teacher called on Sarah and asked "who in the Bible turned water into wine?" The boy next to Sarah poked her with a pencil and she woke up and shouted "Jesus!" "Very good. Now can you tell me who created the world?" Sarah had fallen back asleep so the boy poked her with the pencil again an

**What was the guy killed by John Wick with a pencil last words?**

"You're taking my breath!"

**What does a mathematician do when theyre constipated?**

They work it out with a pencil

**What did the constipated mathematician do?**

He worked it out with a pencil

**Recently I was lost in the jungle but luckily I had a compass with me...**

So I could draw perfect circles with a pencil...

**Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?**

Because it's pointless.

**What Did The Cowboy Say To The Pencil!?!**

"DRAW!!!!!!"

**What martial art do they teach pencil ninjas?**

Taekwonderoga

**Did you guys hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.**

Boom boom Ting

**(Disgusting sorry) Did you hear about the constipated math teacher?**

She worked it out with a pencil.

**I found Shakespeare's old pencil the other day.**

It was so chewed I couldn't tell if it was 2B or not 2B.

**What U.S. state has the best writing utensils?**

Pencil-vania

**Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?**

He worked it out with a pencil.

**What did the constipated mathematician do?**

Worked it out with his pencil.

**GOT Products**

\- GOT sausages

\- GOT pencil erasers

\- GOT Christmas ornaments

\- GOT cigars

\- GOT navy shoes

\- GOT toy execution blocks

\- GOT pancakes

\- GOT swizzle-sticks

**I have a 2B pencil, and a 2H pencil, the question is which should i use?**

2B or not 2B

**How did the constipated mathematician solve the problem?**

He worked it out with a pencil.

**Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?**

He worked it out with a pencil

**Hear about the constipated mathematician?**

He worked it out with a pencil.

**Wheres the only safe place to find a pencil after an earthquake?**

The Stationary Cupboard

**What kind of pen pencil do people with Parkinson use?**

Unstabilo.

**I need a pencil sharpener.**

Just to put it bluntly.

**John Wick walks into a bar**

He walks out with a bloody pencil.

**John Wick walks into a bar**

He walks out with a bloody pencil.

**Two gay men, Dave and Bob are traveling on a plane.**

"What if we had sex?" Asks Dave.

"Here, one the plane? Are you crazy? Everyone would be watching us doing it, it'll be awkward."

"Nobody is paying attention to anything. Look!"

Dave stands up and asks loudly:

"Could I have a pencil, please?"

Nobody paid attention, everyone is busy minding