Penance

Jokes

Another Christian Joke



A priest is sitting in the confessional when he realizes he really needs to take a shit. He peeks out the door and sees the janitor. "psst, hey bobby, come here, can you sit here and listen to these confessions while I go drop trou?" The janitor is hesitant, but the priest reassures him and shows him the list of sins and their penance hanging on the wall. The Janitor agree


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What does a priest bring to a sporting event?

Penance

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Father O'Malley decides that he wants to skip out on confession duty to play some golf ...

... so he asks his new assistant if he'll man the confession booth for the morning ....

The assistant says, "I'm not a priest and I don't know anything about taking confessions or what sort of penance to give people!"

So Father O'Malley says, "It's easy. Just sit and listen. And when they're done talking just assign them what


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A man goes to confession

He says to the priest: "Forgive me father for I have committed adultery... I think."

"What do you mean you think? You're not sure if you've committed adultery?" Inquired the priest.

"Well father. I was with a woman and things were about to get nasty. I THOUGHT about putting it in but never actually put it in. And so I decided to leave.&


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The Church cleaner takes confession

The Chruch cleaner is making his usual rounds cleaning up around the building when the Priest pulls him aside in a hurry.

"I need to pop out to tend to an elderly lady and conduct her last rites at her house. Can you just sit in for me in confession? It's easy all you have to do is give out the Penance after you've listened to their sins, you know, a couple of Our Fath


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Catholic confesses having anal sex...

"Father forgive me, for I have sinned"
"What have you done my child?"
"I have had anal sex with a woman..."
"With whom?"
"I fear to speak her name, for I know not if she has confessed herself"
"Do not worry my child, all the women in this village go to confession, was it Mary?"
"No"


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So when I was an altar boy when I was a kid...

...and its not all that you'd think it would be. Contrary to popular belief, an aletrboy's true purpose is to put up with the priests shit, and to pick up the slack when he drops the ball. Anyway, one day I was sweeping the chapel floor when i heard somebody whisper my name. I looked around and saw the Father beaconing me toward the confessional.
He had been listening to this one


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Confession (NSFW)

An old man walks into a church, and sits down in the confessional booth. The priest opens up the divider and says "Tell me your troubles my son"
The old man says "Father, i've been happily married the last 50 years to a beautiful woman. But the other day I was driving down the road and picked up two young female hitch hikers. I gave them a ride to the nearest place, whic


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