Operate

Jokes

Dogs can not operate MRI machines ...

... but cats can

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Doctor1: We have to operate on this patient immediately! Doctor2: Why, what does he have?

Money.

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Dogs cant operate MRI machines

But Catscan

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This is Kellogs crunchy nut...

I'm afraid we have to operate on his testicles.

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This is Kellogs cruchy nut

I'm afraid we have to operate on his testicles.

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Everyone says jews are so smart.

But they couldn't even operate an oven correctly.

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Do you know why induction cooktops didnt work before christ?

Because they operate on AD currents.

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Dogs can't operate MRI scanners

But catscan

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The quick thinking executive

To surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting on his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."


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CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."


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A Doctor was going to operate on someone

Doctor: Relax Dave, it's just a small surgery

Me: But my name isn't Dave

Doctor: I know, I am Dave

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Dogs can't operate an MRI

But catscan.

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Three surgeons was meeting for a drink...

... Here they ended up talking shop, and the first proclaimed:

"The easiest patients to operate on, are accountants! All their organs are numbered."

The second surgeon did dissagree:

"I think the easiest patients to operate on, are painters! All their organs got different colors."

To which the last opposed:

"


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I've always wanted to be a train engineer. I spent 15 years in engineering school, 10 years learning about train history, and 5 years learning how to operate a train.

I really thought I would've been trained by now.

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Nike should operate a suicide hotline

And tell every caller to “just do it”

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A wife decides to surprise her husband at work.

She walks into his office to find him sitting at his desk, on the phone, with his extremely attractive secretary taking notes perched on his lap.

Upon catching sight of his wife the husband says into the phone, "And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I can't continue to operate this office with only one chair."


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Dogs can't operate an MRI machine

But Catscan

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Based on name only, who would you rather have operate on you, Dr. Welby or Dr. Kildare?

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Speaking of PET scans, did you guys hear about the new law they passed in Oregon where dogs can no longer operate MRI machines?

Apparently cats can.

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Dogs cant operate MRI scanners

But Catscan

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A guy posts a sign needing to hire someone that can type 60 wpm, use a computer and is bilingual

This dog walks in"Woof!"

The man says "What? You going to apply for this job?"

The dog says "Woof!" Walks to the sign, grabs it and puts it in the man's lap.

The man says "Alright...but can you type 60 wpm?"

The dog "Woof!" Walks to the typewriter and commences to typing perfectly, 60 wpm


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Poorly paid UK surgeons

Yesterday I found out that NHS surgeons are so poorly paid that they have to resort to crime.

I saw a sign, it said "Thieves operate in this area."

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5 surgeons discussing who makes the best patients to operate on

The first surgeon, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best! Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."


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Dogs can't operate MRI scanbers, but catscan

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Dogs cant operate MRI machines...

But Catscan

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Why aren't dogs used to operate MRI machines?

Because CAT scan...

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I know that dogs can't operate an MRI

but I know Catscan.

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I know that dogs can't operate an MRI

but I know Catscan.

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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabeti


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Dogs cant operate MRI machines..

But Catscan

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Dogs don't know how to operate MRI scanners

But catscan

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Dogs can't operate MRI scan but...

Catscan.

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Dogs can't operate MRI scanners

But catscan

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Dogs can't operate an MR scanner...

but catscan

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A joke about the Chairman of the Board and his wife.

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.


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Fun Fact: Most pirate vessels operated as a democracy

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distribution\_of\_justice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distribution_of_justice)

​

When did pirate vessels *not* operate as a democracy?

When it was a dictator ship!

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Why couldn't people on Reddit ever operate a commercial greenhouse?

Because you need to enjoy sunshine, be nurturing, and enjoy watching things grow.

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I have an amazing new business venture: bicycles that require a vagina to operate.

We call them “miceicles” because pussy makes them run.

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Did you know that dogs cant operate MRI machines?

But catscan

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Dogs cant operate an MRI scanners

But catscan

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Did you know that dogs can't operate an MRI machine?

It's true - but cats can.

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A dog cant operate an MRI...

but a catscan.

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Dogs can't operate a MRI scanner.

but catscan.

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Undomesticated animals cant operate computed axial tomography scans

But PET scan.

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Dogs can't operate mri's

But catscan

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My dogs cannot operate the MRI machine at work.

But my Catscan.

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Why do cats make better veterinarians than dogs?

Because dogs can’t operate mri scanners but catscan!

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Dogs cant operate MRI scanners...

But catscan

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Dogs cant operate MRI scanners....

But CATSCAN.

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God came to Adam and said, "I've got some good news and some bad news."

"Well, give me the good news first," Adam replied.

"I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your new intelligent life form and populate this planet."


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