Oozing

Jokes

I recently came across a Hornet that had gunk oozing out of it

But that's none of my Beeswax.

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John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party

with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn.


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Three vampire bats had a bet to see who could come back with the most blood, first bat comes back, nothing second bat also comes back nothing, third bat takes off and later returns with blood oozing out of his mouth, the other bats say where did you get all that blood? He replies, see that tree.

Well I didn't.

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Office Xmas Party Hangover

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. “Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”
“Eve


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A starving vamparie is strolling down a deserted town when he sees another vampire...

...with blood oozing from his mouth.
He asks "where did you get all that blood?!"
The vampire replies: "do you see that wall over there?'
"Yes I do!!!" says the thirsty vampire.
"Well, I didn't"

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A man walks into a bathroom and asks another man for help "please undo my zipper!" NSFW

Other guy nearly refuses but, upon noticing the man doesn't have arms, reluctantly unzips him and begins to walk away.

"Please, help me pull it out and, if you wouldn't mind, zip me back up when I'm done."

Feeling sorry for his fellow man, and recognizing the need to assist him, he pulls out the guy's junk. Curiosity gets to him and he gl


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Indian Genie

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.

He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish.


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