Negotiate

Jokes

The father of an autistic son was threatening to suicide by jumping from a crane. All the family tried to negotiate with him, even the autistic son...

... with the crane.

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Why couldn't the Baker negotiate the price of bread with the customer?

Because It was a no deal bread stick

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Why couldn't the Baker negotiate the price of bread with the customer?

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Whats the difference between a Woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with terrorists.

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As a Muslim man I try as hard as possible not to argue with people in my community

Because I dont negotiate with terrorists

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Library has a CASE on their hands...

My local library has been attempting to stop a random series of book destruction. Apparently someone is tearing up the pages in all of the books in the donation bin. The librarians aren't sure what to do though...

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...They don't negotiate with Tearrorists.

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What is the difference between a terrorist and a church choir?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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Whats the difference between a teenager on her period and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with terrorists.

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My son threatened to hold his breath until he got ice cream

He passed out on the floor.

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

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I was trying to negotiate with my Wife on having sex the other night...

She replied, "Well what's in it for me?"

To which I responded,"My penis".

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Whats the difference between a baptist and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What is the difference between a physical therapist and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a woman and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's a Difference between a Women with her Periods and a Terrorist?

You can Negotiate with Terrorist.

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If I gave you a million dollars

Man to woman: Let me ask you a hypothetical question. If I gave you a million dollars, would you have sex with me?

Woman: Well, I guess for a million dollars I probably would.

Man: Great! I really only have twenty bucks, so let's have sex!

Woman: Hey, are you calling me a prostitute?

Man: We already established that. Now I'm just trying


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Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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My kid threatened to hold his breath until i gave him dessert

He's now passed out on the floor.

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

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Whats the differance between a terrorist and a yiddish mama?

You can negotiate with terrorists

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A woman is being hired and is trying to negotiate her salary

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Received a job offer finally! Worried about salary..

I received a full-time job offer today at a startup! I'm really excited about it and haven't received the official offer letter. During the interview, I was really nervous and told them a lower salary than I would want to take. I said 40-50k but I really don't want to settle for less than 45k. The interviewer then asked if this was including stock options, and I mentioned I was flex


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The doc said my wife and I should compromise..

I told him I don't negotiate with terrorists.

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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's the difference between your girlfriend on her period and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a feminist and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a feminist and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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United States does NOT negotiate with terrorists. Sony however...

Way to set a precedent about dealing with anonymous threats. Good news is, now that anonymous threats have this effect, Reddit can basically run Hollywood!

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A pakistani cabbie called me a racist

I didn't say a word and left the cab. Because you don't negotiate with terrorists

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What is the difference between a woman and a terrorist?

With a terrorist you can negotiate

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A Sargent goes to a whore house ...

and asks the madam "How much would you charge for the pleasure of my company?"

They negotiate for a while and finally settle on a price.

"Very good says the Sargent" who then turns and yells "Company ho."

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What's the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist

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What's the difference between a woman on her period and ISIS?

You can negotiate with ISIS.

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Translated Indian Joke

A man is leaving his village for the first time to visit the big city. His fellow villagers don't want him to get ripped off, so they give him some advice - never agree to the seller's price... always ask for half the price.

So the man arrives at the city, and sees an umbrella store. He heads in to buy an umbrella.

He asks the clerk how much for an umbrella.


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Why didn't the President fight with the chair?

Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists.

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Where does Putin negotiate?

The Crimea River

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What is the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with terrorists

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A woman who's PMSing and a terrorist...

What is the difference between a woman who is PMSing and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with terrorists.

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How do you tell the difference between a terrorist and a tenured professor?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

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What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist

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I don't understand how Authorities can tell us that we "Can't Negotiate with terrorists..."

I just got a free can of Coke with my kebab...

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Jew or Gipsy?

John's dad is a Jew and his mom is a Gipsy. one day john asks his dad: what am I , a Jew or a Gipsy ?" dad: "why is that important to you?" John: "It's very important because Bob has a new bike and I don't know what to do: steal it or negotiate with him..."

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