Neglect

Jokes

Hello and welcome to the neglect helpline...

Would you mind waiting for an hour while I go on my lunch break?

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Having a cat is just like having a girlfriend ...

They both

* wail and moan when you neglect to feed them
* bite and scratch when you try to pet them
* keep escaping from the basement

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Me: Dad, to be frank your years of neglect towards us has left us scarred for life and incapable of developing sincere and loving relationships

Dad: ...

Me: ...

Dad: HI FRANK!!!

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And then she meowed at me

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."

Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Honey, you can't neglect protein in your diet. You're a growing child and chicken meat is good for your health."


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Why did the Republican neglect his dog?

He was afraid it would become "socialized."

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Why did the Republican neglect his dog?

He was afraid it would become well socialized.

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I want to encourage you all to not abuse alcohol.

And remember, neglect is a form of abuse.

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What happens when you neglect to pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

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I hear people bragging about the suicide rate going down

They neglect to mention the fact that it is in fact the rate of acceleration that's gone down.

---

I just came up with this earlier today so I dunno if it's any good. Whatcha reckon?

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Boss: Who said that just....

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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I phoned the neglect helpline.

[deleted]

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CHRISTMAS BONUS

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.

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CHRISTMAS BONUS

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.

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Billy Bob decides he's gonna divorce his wife ...

The local parson hears of it and pays Billy Bob a visit to see what the trouble is.

"So, I hear you're intending to divorce your wife," the parson says over coffee.

"Yep," replies Billy Bob.

"Has she been unfaithful to you, Billy?" the parson asks.

"No sir," says Billy Bob. "Fanny Sue ain't o


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A letter to someone of great importance

Dear love,


It's almost 3 am here and I can't sleep.
I want to sleep.
But I can't.

I've been procrastinating.
Now I have less than 3 hours to whip up a presentation, a lab report and take care of other stuff.
Please, time, please.
Stop for me.
Stay.
I need you.
I can see yo


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Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

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