What will always get you laid?

Necrophilia

Im into

Necrophilia is a condition that benefits for the lazy rapist..

Or if your Bill Cosby you’d consider yourself an opportunist.

I have to tell my girlfriend that I'm not into her fetish.

She's dying to get me to try necrophilia.

Im being arrested for necrophilia, but Im confused...

She was alive when I started!

What's worse for a straight man than homosexual sex?

Homosexual Necrophilia

What's the definition of Necrophilia?

The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

Whats the difference between necrophilia and old people fetish?

A couple of weeks.

I'm into necrophilia, bestiality, and sadism...

But sometimes I feel like I'm just flogging a dead horse.

I got arrested for necrophilia the other day...

Apparently it’s “Funeral” and not “Fun Oral”

Necrophilia is dead boring

Try incest, it's only relatively boring

Whats the difference between necrophilia and old people fetish?

A couple of weeks.





(Source: h3h3 comments)

I'm into necrophilia.

I'm serious, deadass.

Psychology

So in my psychology class, we took a unit on different paraphilia and had a quiz on the main ones; necrophilia was dead ass the hardest one

5 men and 1 woman are shipwrecked...

...on a deserted island. Food and water is aplenty so with nothing else to do they resort to sex as the only recreation.
After a month of constant sex the woman says:
"I've had enough of this" and kills herself.
After another month the men decide:
"Enough of this necrophilia" and bury the woman.
Another month passes and men decide:
"

---

Whats the difference between pedophilia and necrophilia?

5 minutes.

I use to practice sadism, necrophilia, and beastiality.

But I gave it all up when I realized I was just beating dead horse.

I got kicked out of a funeral today

Little did they know the deceased was into necrophilia too

When it comes to necrophilia...

I put the fun in funeral.

My friends say that my sudden urges to crack open a cold one is becoming a problem.

I just don't see the issue with necrophilia.

I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality

But then I realized I was just beating a dead horse

What's the difference between a granny fetish and necrophilia?

A few weeks

What is the difference between Necrophilia and Coprophilia

One is dead sexy, the other is fucking shit.

Apparently, in the Dark Ages, having sex with corpses was pretty popular

But now, necrophilia is fucking dead.

Apparently, in the Dark Ages, having sex with corpses was pretty popular

But now, necrophilia is fucking dead.

I once thought I was into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality

Turns out I was just beating a dead horse

Its a flat line between Sex and Necrophilia

Teacher: Who can tell me how to what "group necrophilia" means?

Little Johnny: It's a desire to crack open a cold one with the lads.

I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality

but I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

Necrophilia is dead boring

Try incest, it's only relatively boring.

You know one of the best things about necrophilia?

You don't have to settle for just any girl with a pulse.

My friend is addicted to SampM, bestiality and necrophilia.

I’ve tried to help him but it’s like flogging a dead horse...

Masturbating with cold hands...

is the closest that you can get to "technically necrophilia"

Necrophilia is dead boring, Incest is relatively boring.

Necrophilia

Putting the fun in funeral.

10s to 20s is underage, 30s and 40s is MILF, 50s and 60s is cougars, 70s and 80s is grannies...

90s and above is necrophilia.

What's the difference between necromancy and necrophilia?

Necromancy is bringing the dead back to life. Necrophilia is making the dead live again.

What do high quality butter and necrophilia have in common?

They're both more popular if they spread when cold.

What does necrophilia and alcoholism have in common?

The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

There's nothing wrong with necrophilia...

....it's a victimless crime

Necrophilia is just a graveyard smash

Whats the one thing worse than necrophilia?

Letting a dead body go to waste.

Having sex with a dead person is necrophilia AND bestiality

Because they are dead fishing it

Is Masturbation considered Necrophilia if you're dead inside?

\[removed\]

I used to be into beastiality, necrophilia, and sadism...

But then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

Necrophilia

.... the last nail in the coffin.

I used to be into necrophilia

Until that rotten cunt split on me.

I once upset a girl I knew who was into necrophilia she told me I should...

...kill myself. I don't know if she was threatening me or hitting on me.

Group Necrophilia

The urge to crack open a cold one with the boys.

Life without love is completely normal.

But love without life is necrophilia.