Necrophilia

Jokes

What will always get you laid?

Necrophilia

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Im into

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Necrophilia is a condition that benefits for the lazy rapist..

Or if your Bill Cosby you’d consider yourself an opportunist.

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I have to tell my girlfriend that I'm not into her fetish.

She's dying to get me to try necrophilia.

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Im being arrested for necrophilia, but Im confused...

She was alive when I started!

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What's worse for a straight man than homosexual sex?

Homosexual Necrophilia

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What's the definition of Necrophilia?

The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

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Whats the difference between necrophilia and old people fetish?

A couple of weeks.

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I'm into necrophilia, bestiality, and sadism...

But sometimes I feel like I'm just flogging a dead horse.

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I got arrested for necrophilia the other day...

Apparently it’s “Funeral” and not “Fun Oral”

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Necrophilia is dead boring

Try incest, it's only relatively boring

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Whats the difference between necrophilia and old people fetish?

A couple of weeks.





(Source: h3h3 comments)

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I'm into necrophilia.

I'm serious, deadass.

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Psychology

So in my psychology class, we took a unit on different paraphilia and had a quiz on the main ones; necrophilia was dead ass the hardest one

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5 men and 1 woman are shipwrecked...

...on a deserted island. Food and water is aplenty so with nothing else to do they resort to sex as the only recreation.
After a month of constant sex the woman says:
"I've had enough of this" and kills herself.
After another month the men decide:
"Enough of this necrophilia" and bury the woman.
Another month passes and men decide:
"


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Whats the difference between pedophilia and necrophilia?

5 minutes.

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I use to practice sadism, necrophilia, and beastiality.

But I gave it all up when I realized I was just beating dead horse.

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I got kicked out of a funeral today

Little did they know the deceased was into necrophilia too

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When it comes to necrophilia...

I put the fun in funeral.

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My friends say that my sudden urges to crack open a cold one is becoming a problem.

I just don't see the issue with necrophilia.

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I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality

But then I realized I was just beating a dead horse

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What's the difference between a granny fetish and necrophilia?

A few weeks

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What is the difference between Necrophilia and Coprophilia

One is dead sexy, the other is fucking shit.

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Apparently, in the Dark Ages, having sex with corpses was pretty popular

But now, necrophilia is fucking dead.

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Apparently, in the Dark Ages, having sex with corpses was pretty popular

But now, necrophilia is fucking dead.

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I once thought I was into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality

Turns out I was just beating a dead horse

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Its a flat line between Sex and Necrophilia

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Teacher: Who can tell me how to what "group necrophilia" means?

Little Johnny: It's a desire to crack open a cold one with the lads.

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I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality

but I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Necrophilia is dead boring

Try incest, it's only relatively boring.

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You know one of the best things about necrophilia?

You don't have to settle for just any girl with a pulse.

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My friend is addicted to SampM, bestiality and necrophilia.

I’ve tried to help him but it’s like flogging a dead horse...

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Masturbating with cold hands...

is the closest that you can get to "technically necrophilia"

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Necrophilia is dead boring, Incest is relatively boring.

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Necrophilia

Putting the fun in funeral.

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10s to 20s is underage, 30s and 40s is MILF, 50s and 60s is cougars, 70s and 80s is grannies...

90s and above is necrophilia.

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What's the difference between necromancy and necrophilia?

Necromancy is bringing the dead back to life. Necrophilia is making the dead live again.

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What do high quality butter and necrophilia have in common?

They're both more popular if they spread when cold.

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What does necrophilia and alcoholism have in common?

The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

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There's nothing wrong with necrophilia...

....it's a victimless crime

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Necrophilia is just a graveyard smash

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Whats the one thing worse than necrophilia?

Letting a dead body go to waste.

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Having sex with a dead person is necrophilia AND bestiality

Because they are dead fishing it

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Is Masturbation considered Necrophilia if you're dead inside?

\[removed\]

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I used to be into beastiality, necrophilia, and sadism...

But then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Necrophilia

.... the last nail in the coffin.

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I used to be into necrophilia

Until that rotten cunt split on me.

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I once upset a girl I knew who was into necrophilia she told me I should...

...kill myself. I don't know if she was threatening me or hitting on me.

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Group Necrophilia

The urge to crack open a cold one with the boys.

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Life without love is completely normal.

But love without life is necrophilia.

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