Neatly

Jokes

There's a new killer on the loose...

He sneaks into your house at night, without making a sound, kills you in your sleep, buries you under the floor and neatly levels it so there's no sign of a disturbance. They call him...

Assassin Screed.

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

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Wha gets longer when pulled fits between breasts fits neatly in a hole Has choked people when used improperly and works best when jerked

A seat belt

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

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What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seat belt

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What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

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What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seat belt

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat-belt.

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

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What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt

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A little girl from Chernobil prepares for school one morning

As she takes her backpack and heads for the door, she stops to look at her four red shoes neatly arranged the night before. Visibly upset, she calls for her mother: "Mom, one of my shoes is missing!".

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Sharing is Caring

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down


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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

Boy Ask to her Girlfriend : **"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?"**

Girl : **hhhmmmmmmmm..... hhhhhmmmmmm.....**

Boy : **A seat belt**

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International Businessmen

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were discussing business during a dinner.

Catholic: "I have a large fortune... I am going to buy CITIBANK!"
Protestant: "I am very wealthy and will buy GENERAL MOTORS!"
Muslim: "I am a fabulously rich prince... I intend to purchase SABIC*!"

They then all wait for the Jew to speak...


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What gets longer when pulled...

Fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole
and works best when jerked?

--
--
A seatbelt!

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What gets longer when pulled, Fits between your boobs, Inserts neatly in a hole, And... Works best when jerked?

A seatbelt you dirty minded slut.

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A father is giving his son the talk.

After he is done, the father asks his son if there are any questions he has.

The boy asks, "What does a vagina look like before sex?"

The father answers by stating that it's like a rose, with all its petals neatly arranged.

The boy asks another question. "What does a vagina look like *after* sex?"

The father hesitates a


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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A Seatbelt!

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So my brother plays guitar and has 2 TVs and 3 computers

Instead of organizing all the wires neatly, he just plays his guitar. There are a lot of chords in his living room.

... Lame I know, but I just thought of it.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew.

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion
during a dinner.
Catholic: “I have a large fortune....I am going to buy Citibank!”
Protestant: “I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!”

Muslim: “I am a fabulously rich prince.... I intend to purchase Microsoft!”

They then all wait for the Jew


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I like my women how like I like my neighbors...

With a neatly trimmed yard.

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Jewish modesty

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.


Catholic: “I have a large fortune....I am going to buy Citibank!”

Protestant: “I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!”

Muslim: “I am a fabulously rich prince.... I intend to purchase Microsoft!”

They then


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