Moron

Jokes

When someone types in Comic Sans its actually really easy to read

...that they are a moron.

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There's a little moron and a big moron

A little moron and a big moron are on a bridge. Suddenly there is an earthquake, and the big moron fell off the bridge. But the little moron managed to keep his ground because he was a little moron than the other

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The Australian at the big apple

An Australian tourist comes to visit New York. As he walks one of the streets in Manhattan, he crosses the road without looking and almost runs over. The angry driver yells at him: "Hey, moron, did you come here to die?" And the Australian replies "No sir, actually I came here yesterday"!


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Why cant you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom?

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Trump supporter walk into a bar

Drink, talk, laugh and have a good time.
That’s what happens when you are not a moron

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What do the words idiot, moron, and retarded have in common?

They all show a picture of Donald Trump on Google images.

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They have to reread the title after the punchline.

How do you tell if someone is a moron?

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I'm going to have to sign an idiot contract

But moron that later.

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Me: what does a pirate drive?

My friend: a CARGGHH?

Me: no, a ship you moron.

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What do you call a smart idiot?

An oxy-moron.

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What do you say about the ox who has a sad smile

Ox is moron!

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Jake was a new construction worker hired to help build the Reddit jokes spiffy new HQ

On the first day he learned all about board stretchers. On the second day he learned all about the cafeteria has no punchline. So there was no way he was going to fall for another wammy on the third day.

Well, the third day was pouring the foundation and everything was going great until the foreman checked on his work.

"What did you do, you moron? I told you to use


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What does a tomato say to another tomato?

Nothing, moron. Tomatoes don't talk, you idiot.

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How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?

Elves don't exist, moron

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Why do Muslims, black people, Mexicans, and anti-vaxxers like chocolate?

Because everyone likes chocolate, and why would someone’s religion, race, nationality, or the fact that they’re an uneducated moron change that?

If you were hoping for some bigotry here, I’m sorry to disappoint you.

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A computer that knows everything

in Silicon Valley, there was an exhibition of a new generation Artificial Intelligence computer, which was supposed to know everything: a man and his son went to the exhibition.
"I will hide in the next room," said the man, "and you will ask the computer where am I."
So the man hides and the kid asks the computer: "Where is my father?"
The comp


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My friend told me he was an idiot

But he couldn't possibly have been moron..

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My friend told me he was an idiog

He couldn't possibly have been moron..

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Moron

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Why did the moron throw out his clock?

Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife-raping his wife.

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A young teacher is talking to her class of third-graders

She explains to them that she is a born-again Christian.

She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too.

Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air.

There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand.

So the teacher as


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Why did the big moron fall off and the little moron didn't?

Because he was a little moron.

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What is white, falls from the sky and ends with 'on'?

Snow, you moron !

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Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?

He wanted to see time fly.

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Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?

Because it reminded him of Richard Clock...


the man convicted of knife raping his wife.

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At the scene of the murder Cop 1: This seems racially motivated.

Cop 2: Hate crime?

Cop 1: Of course I hate crime, moron. That’s why I’m a cop.

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Did you hear about the guy who is surrounded by positive people at his workplace?

Yeah. He really hates his job at the HIV clinic. He is such a negative moron.

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A man insults the Tsar.

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". He is taken away by the police on charges of *lese majeste* (insulting the monarch).

He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!".

The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said 'moron', you certainly meant the Tsar!"


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My idiot friend keeps saying, Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.

I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

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A moron attempted to commit suicide...

... they failed to find the edge of the Earth.

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Why is my girlfriend so mean??

She's 8 months pregnant and doesn't want to have sex with me even after i told her that its easier to kill that moron

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A man was reported to have said: "Nikolay is a moron!" and was arrested by a policeman. "No, sir, I meant not our respected Emperor, but another Nikolay!" - "Don't try to trick me: if you say "moron", you are obviously referring to our tsar!"

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How do you keep a moron in suspense?

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How many centrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Actually, there's no difference between a dark room and a lit one. You imbecile. You fucking moron.

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Two morons are at the train station.

The first moron asks the clerk, "Can I take this train to Chicago?"

"No," the clerk responds.

The second moron asks the clerk, "Can I?"

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What do you call a smart moron?

An oxymoron.

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What do you call an idiot who steals prescription drugs from pharmacies?

An oxy-moron

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A big moron and a little moron are sitting on a fence the big moron falls off but the little moron doesnt

Which makes sense because he was a little moron

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So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux...

Go out and pull a really good drunk. Boudreaux, after throwing up all over Thibodeaux, tells Thibodeaux, "Cuz, you gon' catch de hellfire from Cheree." Thibodeaux stumbles home anyways. Cheree greets him at the door and says "Thibodeaux, you all drunk, lookin like a piece o da roadkill, trowup all o'er ya shirt!" Thibodeaux shoots back.."Cheree, dat wasn't m


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So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux...

Go out and pull a really good drunk. Boudreaux, after throwing up all over Thibodeaux, tells Thibodeaux, "Cuz, you gon' catch de hellfire from Cheree." Thibodeaux stumbles home anyways. Cheree greets him at the door and says "Thibodeaux, you all drunk, lookin like a piece o da roadkill, trowup all o'er ya shirt!" Thibodeaux shoots back.."Cheree, dat wasn't m


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The free drugs

"You are lucky, you get to try all new invented drugs for free whereas I need to buy them!", says a junkee after being high

"Oh yeah! Why don't you try to be a lab rat then, you moron!", replies the cute mouse.

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Little Johnny was comparing the kids in his science class to the subatomic particles of an atom...

Little Johnny thought Maria was like a proton because she is always positive and happy.

Little Johnny thought David was like an electron because he is always negative and pessimistic.

Little Johnny saw George as a neutron because George doesn’t really care about anything.

And finally, he saw Taylor as a moron because she is a fucking idiot!


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Young man submits a pun for his Harvard application

They tell him that he's a fucking moron and puns aren't funny

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Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.

After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.


Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping."


The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."


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Cop 1: This murder seems racially motivated.

Cop 2: Hate crime?

Cop 1: Of course I hate crime, moron. That’s why I became a cop.

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A big moron and a little moron are walking by a cliff. The big moron falls off. Why doesn't the little moron fall too?

Because he's a little more on.

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With Christmas coming up, my wife asked our 3 year old what do you know about Jesus? To which she replies "well I know he's a bad driver and a moron"

Because every time I'm in the car with Daddy, all he ever says is "Jesus Christ learn how to drive you freaking moron"

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What do you call a doctor addicted to painkillers?

An oxy-moron

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Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?

Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.

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My friend thinks hes high from taking homeopathic pills.

I said, “That’s an oxy, moron!”

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