Mongolian

Jokes

What do you call a Mongolian man with children?

A steppe dad

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What do you call a Mongolian who wants to steal all your money?

A Kahn-Artist.

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Can you remember the name of that famous Mongolian conqueror?

‘Cause I Genghis Khan’t.

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Theres a queen a king and a Mongolian slave Child in a hotel. How many people are there?

None the queen is a bed the king is also a bed and slaves are property.

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NSFW while in china an American is sexually promiscuous and doesn't use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the states, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.

The man returns and the doctor says, "I've got bad news, you've contracted M


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NSFW While in China

An American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the states, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.


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These hoes aint loyal

AaagggOOOUUAAAAAA (Mongolian throat singing)

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What do you call a Mongolian swindler?

A Khan artist.

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Can a Mongolian make you laugh?

Genghis Kahn.

(No idea if this is an old joke or not. I told it in a dream I had last night so I'm claiming as original).

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My buddy makes counterfeit life-like paintings of Mongolian battle scenes

He's a real Khan artist.

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What music is played at a Mongolian house party?

Dubsteppe

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So American man goes to China...

While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells


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As a Mongolian who just became a U.S. citizen...

I’m so proud to be an Ameri-khan

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I dated a Mongolian girl once

She was a real hoarder

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What killed the albino guy crossing the mongolian dessert?

Mel, a nomad.

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While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. After two days, the doctor tells him, “I’ve got ba


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The Mongolian conqueror who never shut up

Leksi Khan

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A Chinese guy visits an Inner Mongolian village and was invited to eat with the villagers......

[deleted]

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NSFW Very Rare, Indeed!

While in China , a man is very promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the resu


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Last night I made Mongolian beef..

I learned to never steal from Mongolians.

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The Chinese Solution

While in China , an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tel


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Did you hear about the Mongolian Olympic wrestler?

He lost the gold medal due to premature jock elation. (all credit to /u/sasquatchiam, link in comments)

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What do you call a Mongolian that is into mobile games?

[deleted]

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What was the name of the Mongolian warlord's favorite cow?

Angus Khan

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An American Guy goes to China

while in China he has unprotected sex. He then returns to the States after two weeks, he noticed bright green and purple freckles. He immediately goes to see a doctor.
Doc says this is a rare disease called Mongolian VD I'm sorry but the only cure is to amputate your tool.
Horrified he goes the following day to see a Chinese doctor for another option
The doctor examines him


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I got an email from a Mongolian king...

I got an email from a Mongolian king, promising me millions and everyone warned me it was a con, but I was like "Yeah guys, I know it's a Khan. That's what a king from Mongolia is called."

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What do you call a Mongolian Conquerer made of bread?

Genghis Naan

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The New Samurai

The head samurai of Japan has died, the Emperor is searching for a replacement. He puts out word that all should try out to become the next head of the samurai. 3 men show up, a Samurai from China, a Swordsman from Mongolia and a Jewish samurai. The emperor greats the Chinese samurai and tell him to show his skills. He opens a small wooden box releasing a fly. He proceeds to slice the fly in half.


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I just finished reading a book on Mongolian literature.

It had its prose and khans.

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An American tourist visits China...

While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for t


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A Mongolian Lumberjack

A Mongolian lumberjack is interviewing for a job at a major Chinese logging company. The foreman decides to take a practical route and hands the lumberjack an axe.
"Take a couple swings at that tree over there." The foreman said.
The lumberjack walks over to the tree and fells it in a single chop.
"Holy smokes, you've got quite the arm! You're absolutely


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While in China...

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests an


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A Trip to China

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests


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Mongolian VD

[Inspired by the post in TIFU:](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/31lt1a/tifu_by_visiting_a_massage_parlor_in_china_nsfw/)

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green a


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I'm ambivalent about Mongolian literature.

It has its prose and Khans.

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A man waits for his wife to come home from working at their Chinese food restaurant

"Hey honey, welcome home! Can we do some 69?" Upset, the wife screams at him: "You know I worked hard all day, and now you want me to come home and make you Mongolian beef with snow peas!?!?"

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A free Comedy E-Book!

The Absurdity Of Everything

Get my new comedy E-book free!

An Excerpt.......

"Unfortunately, a phenomenon has been occurring in Chinese buffets across the country. Some buffets use this thing called Mono Sodium Glutamate (MSG), a food additive that makes the food even more delicious. Used in correct amounts it just adds flavor. But used in incorrect amo


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An Excerpt from my new comedy E-book! "The Absurdity Of Everything" My new comedy Ebook. Free until January 8th.

A phenomenon has been occurring in Chinese buffets across the country. Some buffets use this thing called Mono Sodium Glutamate (MSG), a food additive that makes the food even more delicious. Used in correct amounts it just adds flavor. But used in incorrect amounts, a process called “re-animation” can occur. Studies show that large amounts of (MSG) can stimulate the nervous systems o


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I'm considering taking a position to translate old Mongolian poetry

The job has its prose and Khans

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A Mongolian man tells his friend a story

When I came home late last night, I found my wife with another man. I was furious, and to hold myself back, I sat down and drank from a bottle that was left on the table. Then, I sang a song to cheer myself up. When I felt a little better, I looked around, and said to myself, 'Shit, this isn't my house,'.


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What do you call 500 murdered Mongolian children?

A type of euthanasia

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The Purple Spotted Penis

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots.. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the


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Joke...

One day a Russian and his wife were traveling along a dusty road when they were approached by a Mongolian. They Mongolian promptly told the Russian he was going to rape his wife, but because the road was dusty he asked the Russian if he could hold his balls up off the the dirt. After raping the Russians wife the mongolian left, at which the Russian started celebrating. 'why are you celebratin


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