Molecule

Jokes

What did the molecule say to the atom after he got in trouble?

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The first double Helium molecule should be named after Michael Jackson

HeHe

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What did the narcissistic CO2 molecule do when it entered into the tree?

It took a selfie.

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After the CO2 molecule left the car, it immediately took a nap

it was exhausted

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What did the chlorine molecule say after homolytic fission

That was RADICAL bro.

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My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

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What is an extroverted chemist's favorite molecule?

A conversation.

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What did the officer molecule say to the suspect molecule?

"I got my ion you."

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What did the witch say when she found a molecule of calcium chloride?

She CaCled.

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What molecule is like Michael Jackson?

Diatomic helium

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Never trust an Atom

Molecule 1: Never trust an atom
Molecule 2: Why?
Molecule 1: I heard they make up everything.

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3 kids are in class Atom, Molecule and Matter. Atom turns to molecule and tells him a joke. Molecule laughs so hard and asks why don't you tell Matter the joke.

Atom: he wouldn't get it, he's too dense.

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How does a DNA molecule give oral?

helix it

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You hear about the molecule that beat his wife?

I heard it was substance abuse

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Redneck Molecules

Scientists have found a new type of molecule only found in loaves of rye. They're calling them the redneck molecules because they are in bread.

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Molecule

Nitrous oxide

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What did the Oblivion character say when he saw a molecule of magnesium sulphate?

BY THE NINE DIVINES! A SALT!

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Sodium and chloride walk up to a carbon monoxide molecule

[deleted]

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When my teacher wanted to see an example of a ringed molecule...

I got my arsole out.

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What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY? Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

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Why did the Hydroxyl molecule blow up the US Mint?

It was a Free Radical.

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What do you call a stylish molecule?

A molecool.

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What's the code name for a nitrogen molecule?

Double 07.

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What do you call a molecule with the structure bunny-O-bunny?

An Ether Bunny!

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What molecule has the best sense of humor?

A helium polymer. HeHeHeHeHe

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(Bad) Chemistry Pun

teacher: why does bromine bond to this molecule instead of one of the other halogens?

me: because bromines before ho-mines

(met with groans and laughs from the class)

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You should never trust a molecule

They make up everything.

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Why did the relationship between the creationist and Organic molecule not last ?

Because the creationist did not believe in carbon dating.

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My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule.

Doesn't exist by definition.

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Two Molecules are Talking to Each Other...

The first one asks, "Why don't you like me?"

The water molecule says, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not that attracted to you."

The other cries, "Is it because I'm fat?!"

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So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... biochem joke

and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don't worry, he's totally heme-less".


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So, A Helium Molecule walks into a bar...

the bartender says "we don't serve don't serve noble gases here."

It Doesn't React!

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