Canada and Germany are at a bar...
The bartender says "Hey, you guys look like you need a drink. What do you want?"
Canada says "I'll take zero-carb beer and a shot of dry vermouth layered with rye, please."
Germany says "What kind of drink order is that? I'll take a real man's drink, a barrel of Jewish children's blood, please."
Death or Buka?
Three explorers are out exploring the jungle. Suddenly, they are captured by the native people who live there. They are tied up and brought before the chief of the tribe.
The chief looks the first man in the eye and asks him,
"Death or buka?"
The man, not knowing what buka is, but deciding it must be much better than death, meekly squeaks,
A woman goes to a plastic surgeon,
A woman goes to the plastic surgeon and she's very nervous. The surgeon says "Would you mind if I numb your breasts?" The woman meekly replies that that would be favourable.
Surgeon says "Numnumnumnum!"
- credit goes to Robin Williams in *Bicentennial Man*
Redeeming jew joke
So I'm at a party, and this guy drops a really offensive jewish holocaust joke. Everybody out the party bursts out laughing thinking it's hilarious, except one guy. When asked why he didn't laugh the guy said: "I don't think holocaust jokes are funny. My grandfather died in the holocaust." Everybody got super quiet, and awkward. About ten minutes passed, and he said:
One to tell militant women: how many women on their period does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
[Meekly] ^just ^one...