A worker and his rope.
A king had 100 advisers
He was extremely rich but always thought his wife cheated on him with one of his advisers.
One night, after she was asleep, he had a blade mechanism which would trigger if something was inserted in it. He tested with a banana and hurrah! it works. With the banana split in half, the king inserted the mechanism into her wife's genitals and waited.
Two Germans walk into a bar
They then kill the American gunner first as the mp40 has a superior firing mechanism
Friend of mine bought a Rolex but the glass popped off and then the mechanism came loose and fell to the floor...
...I said watch out!
A puffer fish went to a surgeon because his puffer mechanism wasnt working right.
When he got back he talked with his fish friends for a bit.
They asked him, “How did your surgery go? Did they fix your puffer?”
He replied, “It went *swell*.”
Yo mama so fat
I'm really concerned about her health, is she doing ok? I think she uses food as a coping mechanism. Let her know I'm here to talk if she needs support
A man was worried about his upcoming flight
A man was worried about his upcoming flight, so he went and bought a parachute.
Mid-flight, the plane started to shake, and fearing that all hopes were lost, he left with his new parachute, Amd was intending to parachute to safety.
After counting for 3 seconds, he tugged the release cord.
He tried again, and nothing happened eit
Whenever I get stressed out I cut shapes out of wood with my jigsaw...
A jigsaw is a great coping mechanism.
Some sea mammals sleep with half their brain in deep sleep and the other half wide awake
This was developed as an evolutionary mechanism for survival, but biologists have documented a similar mechanism in workers at the DMV
Sleeping is the body's best safety mechanism
It keeps you from messing things up for 8 hours
If farting was a mechanism to flag my territory, I would rule the world.
Because when someone busted the lock mechanism on our mailbox, the USPS put the new keys in the box behind the new lock.
A bank organized a contest to test it's new vault.
The prize was one million bucks locked inside and the door had to be opened in a 30 second time period when the lights are off. A team from France starts. 30 seconds pass, the lights go on, but they barely have their tools out, the audience is dissapointed. The Germans are next. 30 seconds pass, the lights go on and the Germans are nearly done cracking the door mechanism, but not quite. The audien