Meaty

Jokes

What do you call a thicc asteroid

A meaty-whore

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A panda walks into a bar

The Panda immediately attacks the fucking hostess mauling her brutally. Screaming patrons run out side doors jump through windows all in an attempt to avoid the rampaging bear who by now is taking savage swipe after savage swipe tearing meaty chunks out of people as they run.

Finally the bar tender jumps the counter and confronts the bear screaming, "why are you doing this to the


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Why did the astronomer use two hams to row his boat?

He liked meaty oars.

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So yesterday I was at a hot tub and there are these two really annoying guys chattering about of their sexual annexations.

So one of them says “Damn bro, last week i banged this chick with a real fine ass.” So at this point i chime in with “Yeah, if it was half the size of her meaty cock I’m sure you’re a real lucky guy.”

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I hate bipolar people

There cold sweaty meaty hands touch my ass

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What do you call a fat weather man that studies penises?

A meaty-urologist

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I went to see my obese doctor about a burning sensation when i pee.

My morbidly obese doctor gave me medicine and told me on monday there will be a chance of warm sprinkles with a little bit of precipitate. Tuesday through thursday it will cool off and by friday the conditions down there will be clear and normal.

He's quite the meaty urologist.

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I didn't like the play about the monster made of beef.

It was meaty ogre.

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The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent five days a week at the gym. So I asked him what the weather was going to do...

...he was clearly a meaty urologist.

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What do you call a buff tree enthusiast?

Meaty oaker.

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What do you call a buff tree enthusiast?

Meaty oaker.

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What do you call not bad, not good brown beef?

Meaty-ochre

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What the food critic say after eating Shrek?

"He was just meaty ogre"

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What's a carnivorous pirate's favorite space object?

A Meaty-arrrrrrgh

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Why did the kidney doctor think he could predict the weather?

Because he was a meaty urologist.

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What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract?

One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.

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A little boy says to his father: dad, i saw a meaty, wet, hairy spot between moms legs, is that what is called the cunt?

The father replies: no son, that's a pussy, everything else around it is the cunt.

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I always thought my brother was studying weather. . .

But whenever I ask him he says he's studying Meaty Urology.

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If a fat doctor gives you a vasectomy, why should you ask him about the weather?

because he's a meaty urologist!

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People say Shrek was a great character

I thought he was meaty ogre.

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A man and his dog

Are out for a walk in the fields near a farm where a train track is nearby. The dog sniffs out a donkey that got hit by a train while he was chasing a hen. The donkey and the hen were killed and lay there rotting in the summer sun.

The man and the dog start on the path home when the dog realizes he is pretty hungry so he separates for a bit and heads to the donkey's body ready f


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Why is English so confusing?

Because a meat eater can meet and eat with another meat eater while a mediator helps with who gets the meaty or meatier burger, while a meteor become a meteorite and kills them all.

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Cojones (from House of Leaves, p. 321)

There once was this guy who went to Madrid. He was in the mood for something new so he decided to try out this small restaurant and order - sight unseen - the house specialty.

Soon a plate arrives loaded with rice pilaf and two large meaty objects.

"What's this?" he asks his waiter
"Cojones, Señor"
"What are cojoñ


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House Specialty

A man visiting Spain wants to try the local cuisine, and so walking down a side street, enters a random restaurant and orders the house specialty. The waiter retreats to the kitchen, and after a time, comes out with a plate loaded with rice pilaf, a green salad, and two large meaty objects.

"What is this?" the man asks. The waiter tells him, "They are cojones, senor.&qu


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What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl?

The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires.

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What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl?

The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires.

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What do you call a really ripped guy who looks at piss all day?

A meaty-urologist

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What does going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common?

You have to bite off the crust, lick the gooey stuff before you get to the meaty bits

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What does going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common?

You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get the meaty bit.

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What do you call a big beefy doctor who also studies the weather in his spare time?

A Meaty-urologist.

^^Don't^^shoot^^me^^...

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Six meaty inches of protein packed bliss!

No joke, the actual description of the black forest ham sandwich from Subway for their October special.

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Today's Special

A man travels to Spain and goes to a restaurant near the bull arena for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asks?

"The Matador Special, Senor," the waiter replies.

"What meat is it?" the man asks.

"Cojones," the wai


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So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great...

It was meaty-okra.

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What's the difference between a dead hooker and a meaty sausage?

*I don't grind up sausages.*

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