Maiden

Jokes

Don't worry danger is my maiden name....

-Mrs. Cowardice

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An American biker decides to travel the world

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Harley, and set out to explore the globe.

For the next few weeks, Rick spent his day


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

One wind turbine asks another "What is your favorite band?"

He replies "Iron Maiden - I'm a big metal fan!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

People from Alabama are extremely susceptible to Identity Theft.

Everyone's last name is also their mother's maiden name.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Ultimate Dad Joke said by a Mom

There was a beautiful, young woman named May. May Elizabeth to be precise.

May Elizabeth married a young man named Jack Johnson. She kept her maiden name, and stayed May Elizabeth.

This couple had a girl, and named her after the mother; May Elizabeth Jr. Now, May Elizabeth Jr finds herself a man, and she marries. They too have a little girl, also named May. May Elizabeth


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Little Johnny's Shakespeare assignment

So there's an English class, and each kid has to memorize a stanza of Shakespeare. Johnny's stanza reads as follows:

Hark! I think I heard a pistol shot.

Yonder lies a fair maiden with hope in her soul.

I think I'll snatch a kiss and sneak off into the woods.

By William Shakespeare

​

So John


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Getting maiden-head is a step on the way to losing your maidenhead.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A lonely man looked far and wide....

A lonely man looked far and wide for his true love.

He decided to travel the world in search for the fairest maiden in the land.

He went to France, and he found nothing.

He went to America, and he found nothing.

He went to Japan, and alas, he found nothing.

The man felt hopeless.

The last stop on his journey was a masqu


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two men were having a drink together.

One says “I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?” “I don’t know,” says the other. “What was her maiden name?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A group of mechanical engineering students decide to prank their flight

These handpicked undergrads along with their professor are on their way to a conference, but unbeknownst to their professor, the students have decided to play a prank.

After the pilot finishes reading out the safety instructions, they pull out a sheet of paper, and read "also, we are honored to have a group of engineering students who designed and built this plane from the groun


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An American biker decides to travel the world

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Harley, and set out to explore the globe.

For the next few weeks, Rick spent his day


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

By asking 4 questions i can tell what your zodiac sign is

1. What's your favorite color?

2. What's your mother's maiden name?

3. What's your social security number?

4. What's your birthday?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An American biker decides to travel the world...

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Harley, and set out to explore the globe.

For the next few weeks, Rick spent his day


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I heard the Titanic II is going on its maiden voyage soon.

No way I'd set foot on that thing. Miss me with that ship.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Titanic II is set to make its maiden voyage in 2022

At least they won't have to worry about icebergs, do to global warming.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo mamas so fat...

when the bank asks you a security question they don’t ask for her maiden name, they ask for the date of her maiden voyage

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two blokes are talking

Two blokes are talking and one says " I slept with my wife before we were married, did you?" The other bloke said " I don't know, what was her maiden name?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I named my car parts factory after my mother's maiden name, and it was banned for being obscene.

What's wrong with Sechso Fenders?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Buzz Aldrins mothers maiden name was moon, so you could say that

Buzz Aldrin’s dad was the first man on moon

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick.

Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Harley, and set out to explore the globe.

For the next few weeks, Rick spent his days riding to and through some of the most popular European c


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?

Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Potty Training

Potty training my toddler can be likened to the maiden voyage of the Titanic...

At the beginning we are hopeful and excited but by the end everyone’s crying and wet.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Said the man to the maiden...

Said the man to the maiden as the lay there by the see, "Shh, someone's coming!" Said the maiden, "Hush! It's me!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call an unmarried Chinese woman?

Maiden China

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is a Neckbeards favorite band?

Iron M’aiden

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the fair maiden enjoy the award?

Because it was a Sir Prize.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was wondering why my iron maiden wasn't working.

Then I read the text on the back:
"Maiden China"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You know that fair maiden that Vincent van Gogh gave his ear to?

I heard it was for the illustrious ghost, Mary the 1st of England.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Princess Leia thought about changing her maiden name

**DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN STAR WARS VII (7)**

**I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone but I just saw it and I thought of this joke.**
___

Princess Leia thought about changing her maiden name, but it doesn't matter, she's Solo now.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My mothers maiden name is Take

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you get when you cross Iron Maiden with a cowardly ornithologist?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Metalhead love

What do you call 2 metalheads falling in love?

A match maiden heaven

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A good way to get to know your date

is to ask about their first pet, favorite movie, and mom’s maiden name.

Then login and read all their emails.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My buddy has been so annoying bragging about how he only sails on a ships maiden voyage...

Fuckin shipsters

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I want to start an all Chinese, Iron Maiden cover band

It'll be called Maiden China

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can tr


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE