Lust

Jokes

Young lady walks into a tattoo studio

The tattooist, stunned by her beauty invites her to the chair and asks "What would you like"
The young lady produces a piece of paper with a design and exclaims that she wants it done on her vulva.

The tattooist, filled with inquisitiveness and lust yet careful of his career advises the lady that doing such work would get him into a lot of trouble and that he would l


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My girlfriend asked me what the difference is between love and lust

I told her, love is what I have for my sister, and lust is what I have for her sister

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Lust, love or showing off?

What’s the difference between lust, love and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A translated Norwegian joke

Two guys meets in the middle of nowhere, trying to find their wives. They decide to help each other out, by describing their wives.

The first man goes on: "My wife is tall, well fit, blonde, got big firm breasts, thight bouncy ass, a massive lust for sex and a face of a model. How about yours"?

The second man replies: "She can go F**k herself, lets search f


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the exceptional gorilla biologist?

She was an ape lust student.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between love, lust, and showing off?

Swallowing, spitting, and gargling.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Putting all the spirit babies in Limbo right next door to the circle of hell for Lust must be every pedophile's idea of heaven...

\[removed\]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A preacher is talking to a young man about temptation and sin during a confessional...

"Son, nobody is perfect. We all struggle with sin. But as long as we confess to it, Jesus will accept you. I'm here to help with that. Tell me, do you struggle with lust?" asks the preacher.

"No sir," says the young man confidantly.

"No? Do you struggle with masturbation? Or pornography?" the preacher asks.

"Nope!"


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?" "Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What are pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth commonly known as?

The Bill of Rights

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What was Iggy Pop's excuse when he tried reaping a child?

"I have a Lust for Life!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between love and lust?

"About two-hundred dollars." - Johnny Carson

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A horny old woman...

was leaving the supermarket with a teenage boy carrying her bags. As she eyes the firm young boy with lust, she says "I thought you might want to know that I have an itchy pussy". The boy replies "just point to it lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me".

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

As my girlfriend and I browsed the sex shop she looked at me with a lingering lust.

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man gets stranded on a desert island

A man gets stranded on a desert island with a dog and a pig. He finds fruit, catches fish and builds himself a shelter. Slowly he begins to adjust to his new life and situation and regain his strength.
However after three weeks he suddenly gets the horn, a burning raging horn inside him and he knows he needs to release himself.
He looked at the dog, "Nah i don't fancy the


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Choose heaven or hell

A man dies and goes to heaven where he meets St. Pete. St. Pete welcomes him and says that there is a new regulation now where a soul gets to choose if they want to go to heaven or hell. The soul must spend three days in hell and three days in heaven and after that he chooses where to go.

The man elects to get hell over with first and like that he *poof* vanishes and is transported to


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My seven sisters suffer from Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between like, love and lust?

Spit
Swallow
Gargle

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Panties

LUST : Tearing her panties off.

Love : Sliding them down gently

Marriage : Folding them regularly

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the height of conceit?

Ant crawling up an elephant's leg with lust in its heart

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Cleanup in aisle 9

Three couples—one retired, one middle aged, and one newlywed--went to see a minister to become members of his church. The minister said the couples would have to abstain from sex for two weeks, then report back on how it went.

Two weeks later, the couples reported back. The elder couple said it had been no problem. The middle-aged couple said it had been a bit tough, but they


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A translated Norwegian joke

Two guys meets in the middle of nowhere, trying to find their wives.
They decide to help each other out, by describing their wives.

The first man goes on: "My wife is tall, well fit, blonde, got big firm breasts, thight bouncy ass, a massive lust for sex and a face of a model. How about yours"?

The second man replies: "She can go F**k herself, lets s


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A guy and a girl meet at a bar, hit it off, and head back to her place

After a few more drinks and some making out, she tells him she's into some really kinky stuff. He replis that he is too. She excuses herself to change into something more comfortable. Ten minutes later she returns dressed head to toe in spiked black leather. She eyes him with lust, cracks a mean-looking whip and simply asks "Ready?" He replies "Nah, I'm heading home.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between love and lust...

Spit and swallow...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is difference between lust, love and marriage?

In lust you tear off the panties.

In love you gently remove the panties.

In marriage you wash and dry the panties, then fold them and put them in the clothes cupboard.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man and his wife.

A man goes to confession. He sits in the booth and says "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

The priest asks him what his sin was.

"Father, I made love to my wife."

The priest is somewhat taken aback, and explains to the man that lovemaking between married couples is permitted and even encouraged by the church, and that he shouldn't


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the difference between love and lust?

Spiiting and swallowing.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE