Lure

Jokes

I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s...

But I could just never lure them into my car. Just kidding, I don't have a driving license

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A hen was holding a pen...

And proceeded to give me a lure. She pointed and said, "I'll ink, you bait the egg,"



(if you don't get it right away, just sit on it for a minute)

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How do you Lure Children to the Jackson Residence








A Little DebHEEHEE

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What kind of cheese would you use to lure a grizzly from it's cave?

Camembert.

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I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never lure them into my car

Just kidding.

​

I don't have a license.

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Jokes are easy! All it takes is a little setup to lure them in, then you hit em with a...

Left hook. Fuck you, Steve.

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I've always wanted kids.

But I can never lure them into my car.

Just kidding of course.. I don't have a licenses !

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Three friends are fishing. The first two are able to lure in the fish with ease, but the third one struggles.

Three friends are fishing. The first two are able to lure in the fish with ease, but the third one struggles.

After a while, the third one stands up and says:

“I gotta go to the bathroom.“

The second one says: “You might as well look up on how to actually lure in some fish while you’re there.”

The third one agrees,


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How do you lure a bear from his cave using cheese

Camembert

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What did the German fisherman say when he accidentally caught a dolphin?

“A dolph hit lure!”

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Two men were fishing in a lake. One caught a trout. He said to his friend, "Is this fish a Nazi?"

"Why?"

"It hit lure."

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Mother Salmon is swimming with her children

Suddenly, a small metal hook flies past. One little fish curiously asks:

"Mommy, what was that?"

"It's dangerous, don't ever go near it", she sternly replies.

Later that evening, they spot a nearby bright red light. Another child asks:

"Mommy, what's that?"

"It's a lure, stay


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I told my wife, My pillow smells like your pussy...

A fishing lure...

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How do fishermen pickup women?

All-lure

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I saw a shark swimming by itself in the ocean...

...I tried to lure it to me with some meat I had on board. It did not seem intrigued and just swam away.

I guess it was just a low-interest lone shark.

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Standing in a graveyard, Lex Luthor and his subordinate are planning Superman's demise

Lex: This is the night I bury Superman!

Henchman: You've finally figured out his weakness?

Lex: Yes, this evening, I'll lure him into this tomb and he'll be incapacitated!

Henchman: How does that work?

Lex: It's his crypt-tonight.

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Villian: I'm going to bury superman this evening, bwahahahha!

Henchman: yeah, lol, heard this one before.

Villian: No really! At sundown, I'm going to lure him into this mausoleum and lock the door, it's his weakness!

Henchman: What are you talking about, that'll never work!

Villian: Of course it will, it's his crypt tonight.

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How does a jewish paedophile lure kids?

He asks them if they want to buy any candy from the back of his van.

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What do rapists use to lure in shoe enthusiasts?

[deleted]

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What kind of cheese do you lay in front of a cave if you want to lure a bear out of it?

Camembert

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Here is how to lure people into your post

Clickbait

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Why do pedophiles love pokemon go?

They can lure you in and pikachu

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What's the worst type of lure to use when fishing in less than 2 feet of water?

Clickbait.

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What do you call it if you spend all of your money on pokeballs and lure modules on Pokemon go?

Brokemon (shit jokemon)

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How does a Jewish pedophile lure children?

[deleted]

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How do you lure a British bear out of his cave using French cheese?

Camembert

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What do you call cheese you use to lure a bear out of the woods?

camembert :)

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I love Halloween...

It's the only time of the year that I can lure young children in with candy without using my van.

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What do use to lure really big fish?

master bait

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How does the mummy plan to destroy Superman?

He's going to lure him into the crypt tonight.

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I got ripped off by a hooker once.

Damn fish swallowed it whole and snapped the line, $24.99 lure down the drain.

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How does master chief lure the covenant into his trap?

He master...baits... hue hue hue hue hue..

credit to my XBL party earlier and lack of sleep

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Watch this video of two hot chicks making out in front of everyone in the subway

...is an example of a misleading title lots of websites use to lure unsuspecting individuals to click links and force them to view content which otherwise they wouldn't be interested in

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What do they call it when websites use misleading titles to lure gay men?

Prickbait

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A man sits down at a children's park

A man is sitting down at a bench enjoying some lunch during his lunch break. Overhead he watches children frolick and play. But then he sees a group of women quietly discussing (obviously) him.

Then all of the sudden one of the women confidently approaches the man. With an ounce of cockyness, in a bid to lure away the man, the women asks "So, which one is yours?"


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A mugger was able to lure a woman very easily behind the building where he always sits...

She was right up his alley.

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They may not teach this in medical school

A man rushes his wife to the ER and demands to see the doctors at once. When the man refuses to explain what the problem is they are led to a private room with a doctor waiting inside. The man tells the doctor that their is a bee in his wife's vagina and he doesn't know what to do. The doctor stands there for a moment and desides what must be done. "Ok, I have a simple solution


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A young couple are nude in bed...

About to get serious, when a bee flies through the window and right up her vagina. Freaked out, they get dressed and rush to their local family doctor.

Upon hearing the news, the doctor tells her to disrobe and lie on the table. He tells the man that he's going to have to try using honey on a q-tip. "Anything, doc, just get it out of her!"

Unsuccessful, he


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