Loyalty

Jokes

That was the best anal ever!

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus.

The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If


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My dad once caught me smoking a Camel. He got so mad, he made me smoke the whole pack...

...just to teach me about brand loyalty.

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If Minecraft has taught me one thing...

It's that you can't put loyalty on hoes

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No ice scraper for my car window this morning...

***So i used my loyalty card but could only get 10% off***

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The Pope and Kim Jong Un were having a meeting in a 20 story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.

First, the Pope called his guard Dave into the room, opened the window and said, "Dave, jump down."

Dave replied in tears, "Your Holiness, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."

The Pope explained that he was only joking, and let Dave out.


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I couldn't find an ice scraper for the car windscreen this morning, so I improvised using a store loyalty card from my wallet

I could only get 10% off.

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I gave my girlfriend's number to my best friend to test her loyalty..

..I just got their wedding invite in the mail today

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Couldn't find a ice scraper for the car windscreen this morning, I unleashed the macgyver in me and improvised using a store loyalty card from my wallet.

I could only get 5% off.

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Did you know that the word 'loyalty' has an entirely different meaning in Chinese?

of royal status, dignity, or power; sovereignty

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A German Shepard, a Doberman, and a cat go to Heaven

God asks them what they value most. The German Shepard says loyalty, discipline, and his master. God tells the dog to sit at his right hand. The Doberman says caring, and the love of his family. God tells him to sit on his left. The cat says “ Your in my chair.” To that, God stands up and leaves.


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A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a hot nun.

Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus.

The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her


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The King and the Fucker on the bridge

Once upon a time there lived a king who wanted to test the loyalty of his subjects. He raised heavy taxes on his people and demanded high rent for the land.

There were no complaints. None.

The king summoned one of his officers and instructed him to collect one gold coin from everyone passing the busiest bridge in his kingdom.

Weeks passed and there were still


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A Classic Joke...

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with

her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for

him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemeter


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One day Johns girlfriend, Jane, decided to test her boyfriends loyalty to her.

She plotted things with her sister, Mary to catch John in the act.

When Jane was supposed to be at work, Mary called John, telling him that she had an emergency and he must come quick.

John quickly drove to Jane and Mary’s house. Upon opening the door, he was greeted by Mary, completely undressed.

Mary said, “oh John, I need you, I need you n


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Loyalty test

An American, an Englishman, and an Irishman were taking a test in order to prove their loyalty. To prove this , they had to enter a room with their wives locked inside, and shoot them in the head.

The Englishman went first. He went in, and came out five minutes later sobbing. He had failed, and left the building.

Next came the American. He went in, and came out ten minu


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This morning I had a job interview

It was for an upper management job, so they started directly with the tough trick questions:

"For your CFO post, you have to choose between three assistants. We asked them what would they do if they caught you committing embezzlement and fraud, and these were their answers:

1 - "My loyalty to my boss is unbreakable. I'd forget what I saw."


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"Our Lord, the heavenly Father and your...

"Our Lord, the heavenly Father and your loyalty has one thing in common. They both have no demonstrable proofs and ask faith of us." - to my prone-to-cheating girlfriend.

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King Arthur must depart to the battlefield.

He requests that the Knights of the Round Table remained within the castle walls in order to protect its citizens should an attack arise. Skeptical of his Queen's loyalty, and the men's self-control, the King asks Merlin to cast a spell on her.

"*Should anyone lie with this woman in bed,

they shall carry on living with their tool dry and dead!"*


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A man gets on a bus

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If y


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A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun.

Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex w


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On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Joseph was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Joseph, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Joseph responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all.

It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."


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On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Joseph was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Joseph, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Joseph responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all.

It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."


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On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Joseph was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Joseph, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Joseph responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all.

It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."


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A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a hot nun.

Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus.

The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to


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A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a hot nun.

Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus.

The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her t


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A twist in the tale

A man enters a church, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive bus driver. Enamored with him, he asks if he can have sex with him. He says no and leaves the church. The man walks up to a nun in the church and asks her if she knows of a way for him to have sex with the bus driver.


"Well," says the nun, "every night at 8 o'clock, he goes to the cemetery


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What colour in the Italian flag represents loyalty in WWII?

Purple. (there's no purple in the Italian flag)

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In politics, what do you call 99 loyalty?

[deleted]

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A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her


husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous.

"My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?”

"I'd say you're a lesbian!"

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A nun and a man

So this man gets onto this bus, and he

sees this super hot nun. How often do

you see a hot nun, I wanna fuck her! This

man goes up and starts chatting her up.

Amost immediately she goes, "I am a

woman of god, please get away from me!"

She gets off the bus at the next stop.

The man immediate


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An old lady walked by a guy and his dog

She mockingly asked him: *"Is he teaching you loyalty? Or are you teaching him treachery??"*

The guy replied: *"Nanny, how about you get the fuck outta here before he teaches you how to do a 100 meter sprint"*.

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How did the Mafioso win the loyalty of a Polish man?

He made him an offer he couldn't understand.

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Loyalty Tests

Test 1:
Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour for hubby
Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife - Which people
Total Silence .

Test 2:
A couple sees a hot girl.
Wife: So big, aren't they?
Husband: Ye
Wife: Are they artificial
Husband: I think natural.
Wife: Ear-rings &a


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Dear Abby

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and lets our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer


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CIA Test gone horribly wrong

Three CIA agents, two male and one female, were called in for a briefing. An agent was needed to go on a top secret mission and that agent could have nothing but absolute loyalty to the goal.

"To test that absolute loyalty," said the director, "we have put your spouses in the other room. Take this gun and shoot your spouse."

The first man went into the


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My girlfriend's sister invited me to have sex with her today...

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have sex with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!

Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your ca


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Employee Award goes to......


Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?

Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Boss: Yes.

Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to ta


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A bus driver, a man, and a nun-- first heard about 7 years ago. Still funny

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dres


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Loyalty Test...

Wife buys 12 underwears of same color for hubby..🔻

Hubby- Why same color sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people

Total silence...

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Blonde Loyalty Test

I don't remember exactly how the joke was worded... maybe you guys can help me out if it doesn't come across well...

A blonde was completing spy training and for the final stage, the proctors had to test her loyalty to the agency. So, they tied a stranger to a chair, gave her a gun, and said "with no background on who this man is, or what he has done, you have to trust


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