Loser

Jokes

I went to a psychic and she told me how I would die: killed by a loser, nobody, bitch

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What do you call someone who catches herpes the first time they have sex?

Sore loser.

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Being a sore loser feels like betrayal.

I said if you win, I get one *gentle* slap, Kyle, ONE slap!

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Lets have a whos better in bed contest.

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I used to be a sore loser

Then i started winning.

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What do you say to a man who lost his keys?

Bro you are lowkey a loser

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Jesus Christ was such a big loser, that even his mom couldn't get laid.

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I was once sexually active!

Get it.. Because I'm a loser who lives off reddit karma.. get it?... Unless it isn't like the first kiss with your mom doesn't count.

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Chuck Norris amp Superman once fought each other as a bet.

The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

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Someone: YOLO

Jesus: Ha ha loser

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I'm such a loser, that if I joined a contest for losers I'd be 2nd.

I won't be the 1st since I'm a freaking loser.

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I found a medical anomaly with fighters

The loser always has elevated levels of B-10.

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Why did Thor hate playing games?

Because he was a Thor loser

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Now that some of Trump's tax returns are out, we know...

his reality show should have been called "The Biggest Loser." Maybe we should have elected the formerly fat guy who showed he could lose weight

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What's the most loser soccer club in the world?

Toulouse football club.

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In 90s and early 00's the word nerd and loser were used as an insult. We have really done a 360

---well we actually did a 180° because is we did 360° we would have been back to the same position

--NERD

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I'm going to therapy now and its really getting me thinking clearly, before therapy I always thought I was a loser

Now I'm certain of it.

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My girlfriend made a gesture calling me a loser because I'm obsessed with Smash Mouth puns.

I told her she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead.

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My French Coach gave me the spirit of a loser..

Yes, We can’t spell “oui” without “i”

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What do you call a paralytic runner?

The loser.

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A boy is depressed because he is a sore loser and can't get a girlfriend

He asks his father "Dad is it possible for a woman to feel attracted to a broke and ugly person?"

His father replies "Of course, just see your mom"

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Business was bad, the small company was on the edge of bankruptcy.

The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office.

"Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job."

"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.

The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser


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When I was young...

...my teacher said I was nothing but a stupid loser, and I'd never amount to anything.

Now, I look back on my life and I realize that being home-schooled really sucked.

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What do you call an orphaned, disabled child?

A loser.

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What do you call an unfunny, unoriginal loser?

u/WatchTheSigns

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"Welcome to the biggest losers' club, how big of a loser are ya'?"

"I'm a virgin."

"Yeah, so?"

"And an atheist."

"Right this way sir."

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What do you call an overweight beta loser in a gym?

A fat loser.

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Why dont you want to win an argument with your wife?

Because you don’t want to be married to a loser

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What do you call a hero that doesn't aim for the head and requires a rematch?

A Thor loser.

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My stepdad told me it was pointless to apply to med-school because I was too stupid to be a doctor

8 years later and one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.

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Why is Donald Trump orange?

Because he's a fuckin loser

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What did the bully penguin say to the loser penguin?

Go krill yourself.

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The Only Reason I Didn't Lose my Virginity is because

I'm not a fucking Loser...

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What do you call an old dude failing at poker and Fortnite who fallen asleep?

A snoozer loser!

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Guys, this ugly loser keeps following me around. What should I do?

I even see him in the mirror.

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Two fencers had a bet to see who could get more reddit karma.

A month later the loser asks the winner how he won.

"I showed unique and new moves how did you win?"

"All I did is riposte."

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If you lose your virginity...

You're a loser because you lost.

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If you loose your virginity....

You're a loser because you lost.

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If you loose your virginity....

You're a loser because you lost.

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If you loose your virginity....

You're a loser because you lost.

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I bought a chocolate bar today and the inside read, "You're a loser"

I wouldn't have minded as much if there had been a competition on.


To make matters worse, it was Boost...

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Not a 19 years old loser anymore

I am 20 years old since today

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I think it is important to be self-aware of one's appearance...

For example, my mother says that I'm very thin.

I say that I'm just regular skinny.

And my father says that I'm a complete loser.

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What do you call a lonely loser with no life?

You

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Pretty much all the jokes you tell are stolen. The only difference is when someone knows where you got it from youre the loser but if nobody has heard it before youre considered funny.

This one is stolen.

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Chuck Norris and Superman once agreed to a fight

The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of his pants for the rest of his life

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Alone, I'm a loser

But together, we have schizophrenia.

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Getting into an argument on the internet is kind of like participating in the special olympics

i could never win either one because i'm a worthless loser

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My dad says his friends called him a loser

After all, he's nearly fifty and he's still living at home with his family.

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What do you call a sore loser thats German

A sour kraut

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