A German lifesaver carries a dog that nearly drowned from the beach...
He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.
The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.
"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"
"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "I'M LITERALLY SOAKING!"
Sweet Baby Ruth.
It was another Payday and I was tired of being Mr. Goodbar.
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"
Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Jo
A Stone asks a Boulder for a lifesaver
the boulder hands him a rockcandy, the rock replies "I Sediment"
Two elderly women are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One woman turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old woman asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
...After a few moments, the first
A teacher is giving a lesson on taste
So she hands out Lifesavers to all of the kids and asks them to identify the different flavors. They're guessing the flavors - red is cherry, green is lime, etc.
They named every flavor except for honey. None of the kids could figure it out, so the teacher decides to give them a hint: "It is something that your mother would call your father."
A little gi
A elementary school teacher is teaching her students about the 5 senses. For taste, she gives them each lifesavers. The kids guess what flavor they are. They go through cherry, grape, and apple. The last one the teacher gives out is honey flavored. None of the kids can guess the flavor. Trying to give them a hint, the teacher says "it's something your mother probably calls your father&qu
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) Of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavours by their colour:
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers.