Lecturer

Jokes

So this happened in my class today

My Lecturer from the States: How did Columbus funded his expedition?

Me : Colonization

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Lawnmowers determine sexuality

There was a student who attended a lecture about "logic". He couldn't understand the lecture so, after he finised, the student went up to the lecturer and told him,
"I'm terribly sorry sir. I didn't understand your speech."
The lecturer asked him, "You are going to go home after this right? This means you have a house. If you have a house,


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Has anyone heard of the game Giarise?

My lecturer keeps telling me not to play it.

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A lecturer had reached one of his most important points

"He who gives in when he is wrong is wise: but the man who gives in when he is right is..."

"Married," someone shouted from the audience.

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Lecturer: "have any of you heard of pavlov's dogs?"

Student: "... It rings a bell."

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A college advertising lecture is taking place. The speaker is presenting his anti-drug PSA.

He says:

- I am the author of a simple, yet effective campaign against drug use.

He shows the poster he designed. It shows two circles, one big and the other small. The small one is titled "This Is Your Brain", the big one is titled "This Is Your Brain on Drugs". The speaker says:

- Areas in which my campaign was used had a reduction of dr


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I was at university for a lesson today, and my psychology lecturer asked us what makes a terrorist tick.

Apparently, "a bomb" was not the right answer.

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My friends say Im funny so I figured Id write a joke.

So I went to a proctologist (read: butt doctor) because I’d been having some long term constipation and I figured I’d better get a prostate check to punch two holes in my club card, it was a real problem as funny as it sounds. Anyway I get there and I’m waiting in this cold room when a dude in a doctor coat and a salmon dress shirt walks in. He was a short, middle aged balding, f


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Paige finishes writing her biology dissertation and hands it in to the lecturer the following day.

He quickly flicks through it and realises something is missing.

"Where's your appendix page?"

"Easy", she says, and points to her lower abdomen.

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A student is preparing for a vet school exam and has left it to the last minute...

With no chance in hell in of passing, he procrastinates by picking a random topic about animals from Wikipedia and starts reading. By the time he's finished (wasting lots of time looking up related articles) it's too late to read about anything else.

In the oral exam the student picks a question paper from the desk and it lists three animals that he will need to talk about.


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There are 10 types of people in this world!

Those that understand binary and those that don't.


*Credit to my electronics lecturer for this one*

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A blond keeps going to a Mexican man

and complains for a bit that her lecturer wouldn't pass her course. Then proceeds to have amazing sex. A few days later she comes back, complains about the same, and tries to please the man even more and this process keeps repeating. As satisfied as this man was, he asked, what has her uni course got to do with them hooking up.
She replied that her lecturer said that in order to pass t


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My university lecturer makes all of his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It's textbook economics.

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My lecturer today was a 45 year old woman, she made some very good points...

In fact it gave me menopause for thought.

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Define the lecturer

Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer?

Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

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So a Lecturer tells a joke in the class. . .

. . .and then one of the students raises his hand and says "but sir you told that joke last year" the lecturer replies "if you can repeat things then so can I"

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College

A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classoom observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being
the good stude


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Medical Students

A group of first year medicals students are attending their first class. An eccentric looking lecturer walk in and says: "An important thing in medicine, is not to be fazed by what seems disgusting to the general public. Allow me to demonstrate" The lecturer brings a cadaver into the lecture theatre and shoves a finger up the cadaver's anus and promptly licks his finger. The lecture


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