Laugh

Jokes

One guy gave his friend an allotment of 10 puns, hoping that one pun would make him laugh

Sadly, no pun in ten did

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Shit

And piss and cum

​

Haha now laugh or I will report you for tax evasion you scum.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Which way do you blend a baby?

Feet first so you can laugh at the racial expression.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Uranus joke

*Okay my mom used to tell me this when i was little and it made me laugh. Here's how it goes.*

Why do we measure the length between Neptune and Uranus?

Because we want to see how far the brown line goes!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Mexican Magician

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I've started investing in stocks.

Mainly beef, chicken and vegetable.

You may laugh, but one day I'll be a bouillonaire!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Jeb Bush

Please laugh, said the Jeb Bush

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why can't you win an argument with a comedian?

They always get the last laugh.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you make an octopus laugh?

Give it ten-tickles!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

WARNING: NOT FUNNY AT ALL WILL NOT MAKE YOU LAUGH

Me: Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?

Friend: sure

Me: Thats the spirit

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The trouble with comedy

I thought seriously about doing stand up comedy, and thought no way, what if they laugh at me?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I asked a friend to try and make me laugh with no more than 10 puns

But no pun in-ten-ded

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Goodvibes" - warning not for faint of heart

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friends laughed at me and said my girlfriend was imaginary

I didn't laugh because it was reposted so many times.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

It wasnt fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did a guy got so many Reddit awards after saying "30 fps is fine"?

He made the rich laugh

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A comedian a tells a joke to a group of bodybuilders, but they never laugh.

They don't call them a tough crowd for no reason.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you make people laugh about your bad jokes?

Give them a job.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does a black man laugh?

He sniggers.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Mr. Funnybones

This will make you laugh https://pin.it/6jmbrcaieg7fv2

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A computer doesn't laugh at a 3.5" floppy.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Laugh

Laugh at the post

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why doesn't a joke you already know make you laugh?

Because you've already reddit

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

An airplane crashes on an uncharted island.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What happened to the divorced bear?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's it take to make a squid laugh?

Ten tickles

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do dwarfs laugh when they play football?

Because the grass tickles their balls

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Dating Proverb

If you laugh at your girl because she is a month late.

She will laugh at you when she is two months late.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

More of a pic up line than a joke but still makes me laugh

Hey
You're a stripe and a half and I'm a stripe and a half and together we are
Adidas

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What time does whitey wake up?

At the cracker dawn.

(I'm white, it's ok to laugh)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are

But I laugh more.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Speeding ticket

A man gets pulled over by a policeman.
Policeman: You were going 68 in a 50 zone, I will have to write you a ticket.
Man: Alright, just make the number a little cooler so we can laugh when the judge reads it.

[later in court]
Judge: How the flying Frick did you go 420 in a 50?!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

It doesn't matter how badly you pronounce Bentagit Kamdbrbsktkch

We will always know who you are talking about

(a variation of this might have been posted before at some point, but my girlfriend told me this after seeing The Reichenbach Fall, and I had a good laugh, so I wanted to share)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse.

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over 20 years I've never laughed at a patient."

"OK then," said Bob who then proceeded to drop his pants, revealing the smallest penis the nurse had ever seen. In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tr


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What makes zombies laugh?

Dad jokes.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do midgets laugh when they run in grass fields?

Because of the grass tickling their balls!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My friend laughed when I told him I could make an instrument sound better with fish.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A priest is working in the confessional booth

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing adultery. One Sunday, from the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the o


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man goes in a bar in 2039 and says one word, just one word that makes people laugh for hours on...

Religion.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Idk why but this nade ne laugh so...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Son: Why are humans also called mankind?

Papa: Because man is kind.

*evil laugh"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The best joke in the world

OMG this is too lame that either somebody curse me or some cringe too laugh out

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Jew, a Muslim and a Trump supporter walk into a bar

Drink, talk, laugh and have a good time.
That’s what happens when you are not a moron

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How mathematicians laugh?

(HA)^3

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Three women at the Stairway to Heaven

Three women(brunette, redhead, blonde) all die, and find themselves at the foot of the Stairway to Heaven.

They are visited by an angel, who says, “For each step on the Stairway you take, you will hear a joke. If you do not laugh, you may continue; however, if you DO laugh, you must stop and spend the rest of your afterlife at that step.”

All three women nod


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you laugh?

Well you see, I uh ... I have a few jokes ..... But I should probably ask my mom for a joke, she makes good jokes .. after all, she made me.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call comedians on a rail line?

A laugh track.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why does a dwarf laugh when he runs?

Because the grass tickles his balls.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The saying Say no to drugs has always made me laugh

I mean, if you’re talking to them it is probably too late to say no to them

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE