Dont trust ropes.

They can be very knotty.

Whats that sexiest lumber to use in the bedroom?

Knotty wood.

What did the pervert say to the lumber?

You're so knotty!

My wife was doing her hair for Christmas Eve

She seemed to be struggling to comb it. I told her she should have written to Santa about it - he could have told her if her hair was knotty or nice.

What does the Daddy tree say to the kid tree?

Don't be knotty

What did the bondage rope say?

I'm knotty

Why didn't Santa go to the rope tying convention?

Because they're all on the knotty list.

Why was the log put in timeout?

Because it was knotty.

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

Why didn't the string get anything for Christmas?

Because he was knotty!

Why was the rope sent to his room?

He was being knotty.

Why did the tree keep getting grounded?

Because it was s knotty pine!

What do you call a slutty shoelace?

Knotty

Why didn't the tree get any presents for Christmas?

He was knotty.

Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Did you know that Santa Claus is both an arborist and a geologist?

He's gonna find out what's knotty or gneiss.