Kite

Jokes

I went to the doctor the other day and asked him if he had anything for my bad wind

He gave me a kite

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I was able to get into the kite festival for free.

# My friend pulled some strings for me.

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During a family visit, my 6 nephew showed me his handicrafted kite.

Then I showed him my Apple watch and said "Nice, but look what kids in China can do at your age."

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I smoked a joint before getting on the plane

I was high as a kite

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Did you hear about the kite that went up into the air really easily?

He said it was a breeze.

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I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind.

He gave me a kite.

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Cigarette's and Tampons

I called my wife while she was shopping and asked her to bring me some cigarettes. She comes home with a can of Tobacco and rolling papers and said here, roll your own they are cheaper this way. Well I went to the store and she calls and asked if I would bring her some tampons. I brought her a bag of cotton balls and a roll of kite string and told her here roll your own, they are cheaper this way.


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Conversation with a wind turbine.

Wind turbine: *exists*

Man : "I'll hold up a big kite and you blow air at me until I lift off."

Wind Turbine: " ... "

Man : "What do you think of that idea?"

Wind turbine : "I'm not a huge fan"

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Why did Elsa lose her kite?

She let it go.

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Did you hear about the kite store opened by a Rap artist?

It's called: Don't Get it Twisted.

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One morning I was wondering

One morning, I was wondering what the hell was that flying in the sky.

Is it a bird? I think its not. It does not have wings

Neither is a plane. Its shape is circle. So Im very sure its not a plane.

Its not a kite because it doesnt even around move.

But I noticed a very important detail.

It grew larger and larger!

And th


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I asked the doctor to give me something for wind

So he gave me a kite

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I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind.

He gave me a kite.

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Life is like a kite

Sometimes you get zapped by lightning

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What did the isreali tell the Palestinian?

Go fly a kite

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What does a kite and a stoner have in common?

They're both high.

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Me And My Doctor

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite. :)

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I asked the doctor if he had anything for strong wind.

And he gave me a kite.

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Found some gems in my grandpa's old journal, thought rjokes would appreciate them...

I'll try and transcribe them the way he writes them down, but it is pretty hard since most of them are written in cursive.

Husband got up early Sunday morning to fly a kite. He is having a hard time, kite is going up and down. Wife is watching from the window in her nighty. Finally, she becomes exasperated with his failure. She opens up the window and yells "You need more ta


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My daughter used to have a "Frozen" kite...

But she let it go.

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I went to the doctor

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

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What's the difference between The Kite Runner and The Maze Runner?

I don't know, I haven't seen either.

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I'm high as a kite tied to Columbia...

...will explode any time.

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Go fly a kite

A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. However, every time the kite gets up into the air, it comes crashing back down.

This goes on for awhile before his wife yells from the front door, "you need more tail!"

The father turns to his son and says, "I'll never understand your mother. Yesterday, I told her I needed more tail, and


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I went to the doctor

and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a monster who flies a kite in a lightning storm?

Benjamin Franklinstein

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During a family visit, my 6 yo nephew showed me his handicrafted kite.

Then I showed him my Apple watch and said "Nice, but look what kids in China can do at your age."

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Why did the kite flyer rename his girlfriend "wind" ?

Because he likes when the wind blows hard.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a kite?

A kite pulls the strings. The strings pull Donald Trump.

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I got a great deal on a Kite, no strings attached!

It flew away.

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Treat your kite (plane) like you treat your woman.

By that I mean get inside her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back

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Flying a kite

I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, my wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and


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Couldn't stop farting...so i went to the Doctors

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite

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I just can't understand women

A guy is outside in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. Every time the kite gets up in the air, it comes crashing down.

After this goes on for a while, his wife sticks her head out the front door and yells, "You need more tail."

The guy turns to his son and says, "Son, I never will understand women. I just told her an hour ago I needed mor


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On a Cape Cod Beach

While on a vacation to one of the most famous holiday destinations in New England, I was behooved to engage in some local frivolity. Meandering up the landmass that is a proud, sickle-sharp jut into the Atlantic, happenstance took me through town upon picturesque town, and many upon many quaint souvenir shops. By the time I reached Provincetown, I had no will left to abstain further, I just had


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