Kidnap

Jokes

Need help for kidnapping

If I kidnap a Chinese, can I cover up his eyes with laces?

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Sex ed drop outs

Three little boys are walking home from school on report card day and one says "I can't believe that bitch failed us in health class, we should kidnap her and tie her up"

The second one says 'yeah and rip off all her clothes"

The third one says "yeah and then suck her dick"


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To teach my kids a lesson about socialism, I made them all do chores and paid them each the same amount no matter how much work they did.

Then I had the CIA come kidnap me and replace me with new parents who made them farm bananas.

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I tried to kidnap a blacksmith, but when I turned my back ...

... he made a bolt for the door.

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A man has been caught stealing children whilst they sleep...

...kidnap

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A wife talks to her husband angrily:

"When I said I want a child I didn't mean you should kidnap one!" she pauses "What do we do now?"

And husband replies: "Maybe we could still abort it?"

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If I Ever Find A Climate Change Denier...

I will personally kidnap them and toss them off of the edge of our flat Earth.

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If I Ever Find A Climate Change Denier...

I will personally kidnap them and toss them off of the edge of our flat Earth.

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What if the aliens do not kidnap people?

What if they pick up people as lost kittens?
"What a sweet little man!"
"Mom, can he live with us?"
"Please, mom!"

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How does a hobbit kidnap someone

"**Get in the Baggins**"

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How do hobbits kidnap poeple?

"Get in the Baggins"

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A man received a letter from some kidnappers


A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The
letter said, "If you don't promise to send us
$100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife."
The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my
promise but I hope you
will keep yours."

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Why do you never kidnap a jew

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Blonde kidnapper

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow by 7 AM.

Signed - "The Blonde"


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On the Beauty of Nordic Women...

Question: Why are Nordic women so beautiful?

Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones...

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Why did the man kidnap 100 children and kill 10 of them?

So that only 90 kids will remember.

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What do you say if you kidnap someone of royalty?

Might as well call me Fetty Wap, because I've got myself a trapped queen.

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How do you make a plumber cry?

You kidnap his whole family.

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Toucan:

Albanians kidnap Liam Neesons bird

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What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist

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What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

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Why do French people make good Kidnap victims?

'cause they always surrender

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A kidnap victim had herself a lucky escape from a prominent cosmetician when a celebrity hairstylist stepped in...

Max Factor but John Frieda.

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How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

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Did you hear about the kidnap?

He was very tired.

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Terrible Boss

Jim worked at a large business supplies company and had a terrible boss. He got paid very little, and she insulted him at every turn. Each day she would say to him "Bring in all the binders and folders that got delivered." Being a big company, they recieved thousands of each every day and he would have to bring them in by hand.
Jim complained to her one day that his back was hurtin


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What do you call the men I kidnap and jerk off against their will?

Stroke Victims.

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Prank your friends! Just break into their home, "kidnap" them, and follow the instructions in the link!

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