Kangaroo

Jokes

I'd definitely go to the party organized by a Kangaroo and a Donkey..

Its going to be Kick-Ass!

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What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?

A Kick-Ass

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What do you call a kangaroo whos in love with a sheep?


A wolly jumper

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A Kangaroo that has been paralysed from the waist down could get by via...

Pogo stick

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What do you get if you mix a kangaroo with a elephant?

Bloody big holes all over Australia

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How does a teenage kangaroo get laid?

He walks up to the girls and says, "How you doin?".

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What do you call a gay kangaroo?

A Kangayroo

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What's the worst thing about getting punched in the face by a kangaroo?

The fact that you're probably Australian.

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A kangaroo at the zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night.

Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence.

He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo.

They tore down the ten-foot fence and put up a fifteen-foot fence.

He was out again the next morning.

A twenty-foot fence was put up.

Again he go out.


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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course. Houses dont jump.

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the statue of liberty?

Of course. The statue of liberty cant jump.

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A recently discovered type of kangaroo can jump higher than the empire state building...

... because Empire State building cannot jump at all.

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A kangaroo is jumping around in Australia

When ever she stops a little penguin pocks his head out of her pouch.

In Antarctica a little kangaroo is sitting with some penguins, sneezing and grumbling: Fucx this student exchange program!

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Pickpockecting is the same as kidnapping.

If your victim is a kangaroo!

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Whats the difference between a Kangaroo amp Kangaroot

Ones an Australian Animal, and the other is a Geordie Stuck in a lift

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A kangaroo keeps escaping his enclosure at the zoo.

In an effort to keep him inside at night, the zookeepers construct a 10-foot fence around his habitat. The next morning, they find the kangaroo wandering around the zoo. The zookeepers construct a 20-foot fence to keep the kangaroo from escaping, but the next day he is loose once again. The zookeepers begin construction on a 50-foot fence they’re sure will keep the kangaroo in his enclosure.


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Do you think a kangaroo could jump higher than a house?

Yes a house can't jump

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Do you think a kangaroo could jump higher than a house?

No a house can't jump.

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Can a kangaroo jumo higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course it can, the Empire State Buildung can't jump in the first place.

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A man goes the cinema to see the first Harry Potter film when a kangaroo comes and sits down next to him.

A man is sat in the cinema to watch the first Harry Potter movie and is astonished when a kangaroo comes and sits next to him.

He leans over and asks ''im sorry to pry but what the hell is a kangaroo doing at the cinema''

"Well'' says the kangaroo ''i really liked the book''


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What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial and one's a Geordie stuck in a lift.



(I'll get my coat)

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What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One lives in the outback, and one is a Scotsman stuck in a lift.

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What did the kangaroo say when she lost her kid?

Oh no! Somebody picked my pocket!

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What do you call a Kangaroo with bad manners?

Kangarude

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Just tried kangaroo beer

It was a bit too hoppy for me.

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Whats a frog call an opportunity?

Whats a frog call an opportunity?

A hopportunity!


What's a kangaroo call an opportunity?

A hopportunity!


What's a grass hopper call an opportunity?

A hopportunity!


What's a pogo stick call an opportunity?

Nothing, pogo sticks can't talk.

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Hahahahh..

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn't jump at all

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I started wearing a fanny pack

So now I’ve been Kangaroo Jacking it everywhere. But girls don’t think it’s attractive so now I’ve just been jacking it everywhere...

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6ix9ine song KANGA

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
No STOOPID, KANGAROO!

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What do you call a kangaroo with pogo sticks for legs?

A paraplegic.

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What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

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What Would You Get By Crossing An Elephant and A Kangaroo.

Big holes all over Australia.

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course; houses don't jump

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Yesterday i kidnapped a baby kangaroo.

I got arrested in charge of pickpocket

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Yesterday I kidnapped a baby kangaroo..

I got arrested in charge of pickpocket.

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"My wife got hurt after annoying the marsupials on our trip to a Malaysian zoo."

""Kuala Lumpar?"
"No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course it can, buildings can’t jump.

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Young Johnny at school

Young Johnny at school: "Teacher! Teacher!
My dad hit hit a kangaroo up the arse with his
truck"
Teacher: "Rectum Johnny"
Johnny: "Wrecked 'im alright. Friggin annihilated
'im."

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?

Holes all over Australia

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
\-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar

A kangaroo goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, "What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink." So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the kangaroo, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can't believe that a kangaroo walked int


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Did you hear about the kangaroo...

...who has been breaking into people's homes? he's been turning on and off lights and appliances. People are calling him the old Switcharoo!

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Where does a dyslexic kangaroo go when he's sick

The Hopsital

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

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What do you get if you mix a kangaroo and a sheep?

An abomination!

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An Australian and his two friends, kangaroo and wombat, were arguing who the best fighter were among them.

When suddenly a Crocodile appears in search of trouble. The friends thought this was their chance to prove their respective points.
The wombat was a master of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and quickly took down the crocodile and have him tap out.
They let the latter rest and forced him to fight the kangaroo afterwards only to be smashed by the brutal expertise of the kangaroo's Muay-Thai.


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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

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What's Mr. Kangaroo's favourite part of cooking dinner?

When Mrs. Kangaroo asks him to help make a roux!

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What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?

A Kangaroo is a marsupial found mainly in Australia.

A Kangaroot is a person from Newcastle stuck in a lift.

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