Jordan

Jokes

It is the day that the shirt numbers are assigned at Coxyham High School Football Club.

Bob, a brilliant player, goes next to coach Mr. Jordan and asks "Hey coach, can I get the number 7? That is my favourite number. Plus, it's the number that Cristiano Ronaldo uses and I think it is the perfect shirt number for a left winger like myself. Please!" "I'll look into it," said Mr. Jordan as he walked into the coaches' room. 47 minutes later, the entire


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If Michael B. Jordan played Batman

It Would give a WHOOOLE new meaning to the phrace, "The Dark Knight"

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What do you get if you cross Kermit the Frog with a Philosopher.

Jordan Peterson.



*(Once you hear it you can't unhear it.)*

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A middle aged man went to a young female counselor for advice.

"I have severe existential angst. My life feels meaningless." the man said.

"You should check out Jordan Peterson's books." the counselor replied.

"Alas, I am Jordan Peterson."

"Ha, Victory Royale!" The counselor proceeded to Fortnite dance and explain intersectionalist feminism.


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What do you call a basketball player from the Middle East?

Michael Jordan

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One more ring and Tiger Woods matches Jordan and Brady

He is currently tied for second with Jennifer Lopez with 5.

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Ben Shapiro, Milo Yiannopoulos, and Jordan Peterson walk out from a room

No one's left in the room

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What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?

They were ridiculed when they played in the minors.

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My dad thinks Magic Mike is a documentary about Michael Jordan

so I rented it for him and his friend Dave to watch tomorrow, he's gonna kill me.

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Jordan Peeles Us,

Rated Our

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A Jordan Peterson fan and a gamer leave their house

And their mother says “bye sweetie!”

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How many autoplays do you have to get through before YouTube starts playing a Jordan Peterson video?

None -- you simply have to click the video on the "similar videos" sidebar.

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What do you get if you cross Sir Anthony Hopkins with a deaf Denny's manager OR if you cross Michael Jordan with a bat?

The Silence of the Slams

The other way to say this joke involves Michael Jordan hitting a grand slam directly into a Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast, and then that Denny's customer yelling "BALL TWO!" because it also lambasted them right in the nutsack

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What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan ?

They both don't know you

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Why did a grieving Michael Jordan apply for a KFC job in Tokyo?

Because he bereaves he can fry.

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You know what the B in Michael B Jordan stands for?

Basketball. Crazy right...

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Two guys are watching their sons play baseball

The first father goes, “Did you see that, my son got an in the Park home run. He’s so much better at baseball than your son.”

The second father annoyed that his friend had insulted his son responded. “My son is the Michael Jordan of baseball.

“But he sucks at baseball?”

“So does Michael Jordan.”


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Sam Harris, Jordan Peterson and Douglas Murray walk in to a bar...

... Everyone leaves for the pub down the road and has a great evening

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What does Michael Jordan do in Krispy Kreme?

Dunkin Donut

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The Nabateans were an ancient people who lived in what is today modern Jordan. What was there favorite breakfast drink?

Tea

Bonus question: what was their favorite Star Wars planet?

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How many reporters does it take to change Jordan Peterson's light bulb?

[deleted]

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Me: Imagine If All The Famous Michaels Were In The Next Room...

Me: Imagine if all the famous Michaels were in the next room. You got Michael Scott, Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps...

Classmate: What about Michael Jackson?

Me: Please! If Michael Jackson were in the next room alive and well his ankle bracelet would be vibrating.

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What did Jordan Peele say when he heard he won an Oscar

Thank you

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The guy that played Killmonger in Black Panther is great

He's the Michael Jordan of acting.

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I feel like Jordans International Airport missed a big oppurtunity to call their airport...

Air Jordan.

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Why don't you ever see Michael Jordan at Wimbledon?

Only whites allowed

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Why do women love Jordan Spieth?

Because he came second.

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In Israel, we just want peace.

A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon...

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RIP Jordan Sparks

[deleted]

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A dad joke from Jordan.

[deleted]

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Mary Magdalene

Mary Magdalene's father was walking through the village square one afternoon. He walks past a group of guards who are drinking wine and heckling beggars. As Mary's father passes the men, one guard shouts at him and says, "Hey old man! I hear your daughter has the softest pussy on this side of the Jordan River, what's her secret?!" The old man turns around and yells back sa


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Why did the Chicago Bulls keep Scotty Pippen on the team?

So Michael Jordan had something to put his cigars out on.

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Deandre Jordan

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What does Micheal Jordan put on his toast?

Space Jam!

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Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, a priest, and a hippie are on a plane together when suddenly it starts going down.

There are only four parachutes but the pilot takes one and jumps out. Michael Jordan says "I'm the greatest basketball player ever, I should get to live." He grabs one and jumps out. Bill Gates says, "I'm the smartest man in the world, I should live." He grabs a pack and jumps out. The priest turns to the hippie and says, "Son, I've lived my life. You take t


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Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch?

Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!

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Did you know that, in his prime, Michael Jordan could jump higher than an average house?

The average house cannot jump nor does it have legs.

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Let us pause to remember...

Let us pause to remember all the brave soldiers who have spent time in Jordan: Peter Andre, Alex Reid, Gareth Gates etc etc

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So I was working at a Gas Station...

And a customer pulls up and says "fill?"

then I said, "Sorry, it's Jordan. No Phil works here."

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If somebody where's Jordan sneakers....

They're a J-Walker.

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Michael Jordan tried escaping his nickname in Germany...

but they still called him Herr Jordan.

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Pulled over

So three friends, Mike, Jordan and Dylan, are driving to a party. Unfortunately they're running a little late so Mike, the driver, is driving over the speed limit in hopes of making it on time. About halfway to the party they hear the sirens and see the flashing lights. Mike pulls over and sees that the officer is a quite attractive woman. The three friends are still in quite a rush and J


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What's the difference between Mike Jones and Michael Jordan?

Mike Jones is Still Tippin'.

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So this guy, Rob, is at an interview...

And on his resume, he claims that he is friends with almost everyone in the world. The boss, who's interviewing him, clearly doesn't believe him.

"If you know everyone, then hook me up with Obama."

"Oh yeah! Sure! Obama and I went to middle school together! I'll call him up"

Rob calls and Obama picks up. "Hey Rob! Yeah


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My favorote rascist joke

Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson had the same nickname growing up, can you guess what it is? Nigger

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Guys, I know Michael Jordan very well...

.. He just doesn't know me.

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What do Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James have in common that led to their success in the NBA?

Hard work and dedication.

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BREAKING NEWS

1000 men entered Jordan last night



She said she will be fine after a bit of rest

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