Jolly

Jokes

What do you call a farm hand who can't stop laughing?

A jolly rancher.

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Why is Santa so jolly?

because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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Did you hear about the redditor farmhand who had a run-in with a bully?

He was a jolly rancher until the bully broke both his arms and made him run home to his mom.

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If you have one big green ball in one hand and one big green ball in another, what do you have?

The undivided attention of the Jolly Green Giant.

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Whats a happy cowboys favorite type of candy?

Jolly ranchers

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What do you call a happy cowboy?



A Jolly Rancher.

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To beat babysitting, put on a movie

then go behind them throw hard candies (I use jolly ranchers but it is optional) at their heads. When they wake they will think they passed out and they will ask questions but they see candy and the are no longer curious

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Which victory song will Donald Trump likely sing in 2020 if he should win the next Presidential election?

“I’ve got Mike Pence, a jolly, jolly Mike Pence...I’ve got Mike Pence to last me all my life!”

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Whats a farmers favorite candy?

Jolly-RANCH-ers

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Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

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What's the difference between a cub scout stuck in the woods and a vaginal blister?

One's not a happy camper, the other's not a jolly rancher.

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When a penguin dies, the other penguins bury him deep in the ice. They gather around and sing

“Freeze a jolly good fellow! Freeze a jolly good fellow!”

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When sun goes down...

Dick comes out fa la la lalalaaa la !!!! Tis the season to be jolly

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Why is Santa always so jolly on Christmas?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the bad girls live.


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What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Holocaust Jew?

Santa Claus is jolly, fat, and goes DOWN the chimney.

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Why is Santa so jolly year after year?

Because of all the Ho Ho Ho’s.

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

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Why is Santa so jolly all the time?

He knows where all the naughty girls live

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live

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Why is Santa Claus always jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.

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Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live.

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What do the Reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

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Why is Santa so jolly this time if year?

He's got the naughty list and always chooses the three best hos!

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A man was baking Christmas cookies for his neighborhood, when he saw two women in a fight with hoses.

His original intent was to give one cookie to everyone, but these women, in their red coats, just couldn’t seem to decide between something.
He called the police thinking it had grown too serious. The police came, and the women were identified as the Raign family cousins and arrested.
Then his wife approached him. She said, “Why would you call the police on this jolly day


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Why is Santa always so jolly?

He works with naughty hos.

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Ever wonder why Santa is so jolly?

Because, he knows where all the naughty girls live.

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What do you call a gay farmer?

Jolly Rancher

Sorry if this is a repost, I’m new and heard this joke from an old friend of mine.

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Why is Santa so jolly?

‘Cause he knows where all the naughty girls are.

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Skittles, SweetTart, Starburst, and Jolly Rancher are all facing class action lawsuits.

They are all being charged for descrimination by assuming assignition of flavors to particular colors.

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What's the difference between a coconut and a Jolly Rancher?

Doesn't matter, your arms are broken.

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all naughty girls live.

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In honor of Intl Talk Like A Pirate Day: a pirate joke megathread

To start:


Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger flag on the cheap?

A: He bought it on sail.

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Why are dwarfs always so jolly?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

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A very jolly father named his son Jehovah

so as to laugh at his witness at a wedding

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A jolly father named his son Jehovah

so as to laugh at his witness at a wedding

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A very jolly father

A very jolly father named his son Jehovah so as to laugh loudly at his witness at a wedding

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Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

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Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live

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A co-worker invited me to her home for my 10th company anniversary.

She asked me to wait and went into her bedroom. When she called me in, the entire department was there and sang "He's a jolly good fellow." Boy, I'd have been totally off my socks if that wasn't the only thing I still had on.

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What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher.

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I was playing catch with my brother once. We were having a jolly good time, then suddenly, the ball started getting bigger and bigger. I just couldnt figure out why. Then it hit me.

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What do Elon Musk's Christmas cards say?

"Tesla season to be jolly!"

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What do you call Santa Claus riding a horse?

A jolly rancher.

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Four friends decide to create a new tradition

They all have their birthdays the same week, so when they turn 50, they decide they would go every ten years to celebrate at a fancy restaurant.

The first time, when they turn 50, they have a discussion about where to go.

Friend 1: Let's go to the *Thai Orchid*, I heard they have really good food.

Friend 2: No no, we should go to the *Bengal*, the servic


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Where do dead penguins go? long

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica – where do they go?
Wonder no more!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its l


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What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher.

Girlfriends mom told us this "joke". Dad jokes are out, mom's are in.

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Where do they go?

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?

Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a


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All is quiet on the deck of the Jolly Roger...

All is quiet on the deck of the Jolly Roger. The captain is slumbering, peacefully dreaming of feeding that thrice-blasted boy, Pan, to Hook's own reptilian stalker. Then, oh horror, a knock sounds on the captain's door. Awakened instantly, he bellows.

"Who dares knock on me door!"

A timid voice replies, "It's me, captain!"


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I was getting a blowjob and I told the girl to treat my dick like a jolly rancher....

and keep on sucking.

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