Insist

Jokes

If incest is considered wrong

Then why do some people insist on fucking with Mother Nature?

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Why wont the Republicans impeach Trump?

Because they insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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Why will the Congress never impeach trump?

Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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My roommates insist that our house is haunted

I’ve lived here for 274 years and never once met a ghost.

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Why won't the Republicans impeach Trump?

Because they insist on carrying a baby to full term

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Why wont Trump be subject to impeachment?

Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

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Why does Jesus always insist on getting 15 off whenever he is out shopping?

Well it's because 'Jesus saves'

😀

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Gamers: Shut up and take my money!

Electronic Arts: If you insist...

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Why won't the Senate move to impeach Trump?

Because Republicans insist on carrying a baby full term.

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How many government workers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: one to insist the light bulb has been taken care of and the other to screw it into a faucet.

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Why did the matador insist on fighting bulls in front of a giant wheelchair sculpture?

He didn’t think he could be charged under the statue of limitations.

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I always insist on banging my girlfriend from behind.

That way I don't have to see the look of disappointment on her face.

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I'm tired of all these forced gender neutral terms

The girl I'm going out with insist on calling me just friend instead of boyfriend

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A questionable article on marine biology goes viral.

"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"

The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.

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Why will the senate never impeach Trump?

Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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Why will Congress never impeach Trump?

Because Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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The new house wont get the senate to impeach Trump

Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term

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I have an amazing ability to find things just before people lose them.

The police, however, insist on calling it theft.

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Vladimir Putin goes to the Ukraine

And the customs officer in the entry interview, asks him "occupation?"

"Well, if you insist " he replied.

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Why will congress never impeach Trump?

Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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Why Congress would never impeach Trump?

Because Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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Tax inspector: You should pay your tax with a smile.

Tax Payer: I have tried several times, but every time they insist on cash.

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Husband and wife on the couch. Wife: I can smell your feet!

Husband: Ok, if you insist.

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A drunk man staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed.

"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."

"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.

"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.

"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."


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A drunk man staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed.

"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."

"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.

"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.

"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."


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A drunk man staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed.

"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."

"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.

"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.

"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."


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Why won't Congress ever impeach Trump?

Because Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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What do the reddit redesign and Hitler have in common?

They both insist on more whitespace.

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Why did the news junky always insist on meeting his girlfriend at rooftop patios?

Because he always had to be up-to-date.

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Tom Cruise can't play Green Lantern.

He'll insist on actually flying through space.

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Tom Cruise might play Green Lantern.

He'll probably insist on actually flying through space.

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How can you tell you're playing poker with a feminist?

They'll insist that Kings and Queens have equal value.

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Why will the congress never impeach Trump?

Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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Why Will Congress Never Impeach Trump?

Republicans always insist on carrying babies to full term

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Why will Congress never impeach Trump?

Republicans insist on carrying a baby to full term, even if it was a drastic accident.

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Why will Congress never impeach Trump?

Because Republicans insist on carrying a baby to its full term.

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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning...

The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a pair of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.


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Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They *always* insist that the fit could be better.

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Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one...

But don't insist I get rid of mine. :(

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I have been struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide but my friends have been very supportive...

they insist that I go through with it.

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Why do the English insist pedophile is spelled paedophile?

It takes one to know one.

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Why do people insist DampD players are squares?

I mean, they party all the time!

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Why do tech-savvy Mexicans and Filipinos insist on using Firefox?

They had a terrible experience with Internet *Explorers*.

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Recently started working with homosexuals, I'm having a hard time dealing with the sticky mess.

But they insist I style my hair using gel to appear more professional.

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Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding?

Because it cantaloupe.

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The Defence

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found.

In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Wi


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The Hunger Games is like Soccer.

Everyone runs around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand.

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Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane...

The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes.

The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people and the strongest military in the world.” The others


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Why did the Italian man insist on eating spaghetti with the local Bible college?

It was his favorite pastor source.

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A cat walks into a bar.

and orders a glass of milk. As a cat owner the bartender knows to ask him, are you going to knock it over, or are you going to drink it? The cat tells him he's going to drink it. So the bartender pours him a glass of a glass of milk, and sets it down on the bar. The cat immediately knocks it over and begins drinking it. The bartender is furious with the cat. "Why do you insist upon knock


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