Inflated

Jokes

Germany withholds $39m to the Rainforest Fund over concerns of deliberate deforestation

But like a lot of numbers out of Germany, those numbers are probably inflated, if not a complete hoax.

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A balloon seller was selling his balloons.... His sign read DEFLATED BALLONS-$1.... INFLATED BALLOONS-$250

When asked why, he said he'd adjusted the pricing for Inflation.

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Breaking News

All the world's currency is now air. We store it in small balloons.

Prices seem to be quite inflated.

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I walked into the club and all the pussies were poppin

I don't know why they inflated them so much.

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Does one really suffer from having an inflated ego?

...or is it the greatest disease anyone could possibly ever have, ever?

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Why there isn't a stock market in the bottom of the ocean?

Because it often gets inflated.

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What do you get if you attach a pump to a man called Egomin?

an inflated ego

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My heart is like a diamond

Cold, hard and has it's value artificially inflated because of a few select individuals

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Why is my brain the size of a pea?

Because it inflated

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So there's a woman who wants to get a breast implant...

She talks to her doctor and he says "I have the perfect product for you! We invented a pump that can be inflated by flapping your upper arms. If you want to deflate when you, say, go running, you can deflate them by pushing a button under your arms". She said, "Alright, ill get that".

The surgery was a success, and she recovered from surgery in a few weeks. To tes


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I don't think that balloons can be inflated.

Edit: well did not expect this to blow up.

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A 5 y.o. kid saw his mom and dad having sex.

Kid: Mommy, what are you doing bouncing up and down on top of daddy?

Mommy: Oh, I was just trying to deflate your daddy's tummy!

Kid: Was it because my baby sitter inflated it yesterday?

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Husband: Trump can't drown!

Wife:Really? Why not?

Husband: With that inflated ego, he'll always float.

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What's Trump's favorite breakfast?

Inflated Eggos.

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What are the Greeks forced to eat in their hyper-inflated economy?

Euros!

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What do you call an inflated price

[deleted]

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A penis is essentially a balloon which gets inflated with blood during an erection.

[deleted]

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I had to fire my secretary after she got implants...

She used to work for a flat rate, then she demanded I pay her an inflated rate.

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What's the capital of Zimbabwe?

Hyper-inflated.

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Bigger Boobs

A woman goes to the doctor and asks about options to augment her breasts.

She doesn't want surgery, so that rules out implants. The doctor suggests a new technology for her bra that uses the inflatable pump mechanism that was made popular with basketball sneakers. If she helps trial the product, she'll get them for free. She tries them out and gets fitted properly. It has l


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Why's the necrophiliac's blow up doll half inflated?

So he can pretend she's decomposing.

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Our official currency should become bubblegum...

That way it can be inflated and deflated at will!

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In the time of "Deflate-gate" I wanted you all to know that my balls, yes My Balls are fully, Fully inflated.

That's it, a thousand guys will use this on superbowl Sunday, my gift to the reddit community.

The follow up would be "I may deflate my balls to the shame of one of my socks, but at this moment my balls are fully inflated"

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Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego...

Inflated.

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I had to perform CPR on my girlfriend during sex last night.

When she's half-inflated it's just not the same.

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Did you hear about the global helium shortage?

It's causing the price to be *inflated*.

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If a kid asks where rain comes from

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'probably because of something you did.'"

From: Kruger and Dunning, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments&q


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