Infinitely

Jokes

Yo mamma is so fat she breaks the laws of physics...

If she has to pick something up off the floor it's simultaneously three feet away and infinitely unreachable.

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Being infinitely rich, it makes me wonder

If I can buy Loch Ness, then why the fuck can't I buy Happy Ness!?

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A man dies

A man dies and goes up and finds out to get to heaven he has to get through challenges. There he finds a highschool friend who died before him.
"Hey! Come to the banquet!" The friend says pointing to a large brick building.
The man follows him there and finds an infinitely long table of just white bread and on the other side he finds an infinitely long line of people waiting


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Infinitely funny

What does the "B" in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

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At one point in time...

we thought atoms represented the smallest unit of matter. Although initially thought to be indivisible, this was proven false and each atom is made up of proton, neutrons, and electrons inside.

For a time these were the smallest units, then we found that these protons and neutrons were made up of particles called quarks and leptons, which are infinitely smaller. These were the smalles


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Why is the symbol for infinity an 8 lying down?

Because after someone ate, lying down is infinitely better.

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Sherlock Holmes and Watson are camping...

...and in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes his trusted sidekick.

"Watson, when you're looking up, what do you see?"

Watson, eager to impress his friend, tries to cover all options:

"Astronomically: The Capella is raising behind the horizon to the East, and Venus is visible from Earth this time of the year. Astronomically: We're u


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What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?

There is no difference.

The joke is you just learned math.

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Iggy Azalea must have an infinitely high viscosity

because she got no flow.

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An infinite number of engineers walk into a bar.

The bartender now has an infinitely large bar and profusely thanks the engineers.

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"So, me and my boyfriend have been trying to set up a dungeon in the basement for us and our friends to enjoy..."

"...guess what, the town requires permits to make a randombly-expanding building that infinitely spawns weapons, armor, and critters, and the library won't let me get hold of the books on magic after i told them my intents."

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Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first says, "I'll have a beer." The second says, "I'll have half a beer." The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer." 

The bartender pulls out just two beers. 

The mathematicians ask, "That's all you're giving us?" 

The bartender says, "Come on guys. Know your l


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I like writing my eights on their sides.

It's infinitely better

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