Indian

Jokes

Even after 20 years of marriage, my husband still reminds me how juicy my ass looked on our very first date...

Which really pisses me off, since he was the one who suggested Indian food.

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What's brown, stinks, and squeezed out by a bunch of New Zealanders?

the Indian cricket team

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The other day I met 2 east Indian guys...

The other day I met 2 east Indian guys, so I ask them where they are living now...
The first one answered "Vangouver" & the second one answered "Galgary" !

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What does an Indian say after sex?

Thank you, cum again!

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What's a rare itemartifact found on the indian rez??

An unopened can of beer

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In the US, people keep saying that these shootings, and crime, and natural disasters are being caused by immigrants and gay people...

... but my money is on building the country on one big Indian burial ground.

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If Marvel was an Indian company, Spider-Man would've been considered sacred.

He's a cash cow.

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My wife only likes plain Indian flatbread

She's a naan-conformist.

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What do you call an Indian?

You don't. They call you

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Indian fever

I went out with this white girl, and she said, "I'm so glad you asked me out, I actually have Indian fever!". She died from malaria.

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What did the Indian man name his camel?

Humpal Singh

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What do you call an indian person with ham on his head?

Mohamed

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What's common between an indian asking "should i shit in the toilet" and a european saying "should i go and shoot up the school" (uptoot and give me gold too)

nun of them have the equipment lol

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An Indian guy has been arrested for assaulting his wife.

He hits her every day at 6 o'clock on the dot:

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I opened an Indian restaurant called the ghee spot

It's hard to find

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An Indian guy and girl meet on Tinder

They get to his place and start making out. The guy is not able to get it up so she goes down on him. After sometime she feels him harden enough so she whispers, “Are you Ready?”

He exclaims, “Wow how did you figure out my caste from blowing me?”

P.S: Reddy is a caste in India,


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An Indian Chief comes to the civil registry office and says...

\- I want change name because name very long

\- Ok. What is your current name?

\- Chief big gray cloud bringing news to the whole world

\- And what would you like it changed to?

\- Chief email

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When having new friends over I like to make southern Indian cuisine.

I like to curry favor with curry flavor.

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What do you call a thick Indian babysitter?

Naany

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An Indian tribe captured three men and told them to find 10 fruits of the same kind and if they dont theyll kill them.

An Indian tribe captured three men and told them to find 10 fruits of the same kind and if they don’t they’ll kill them. Tom comes back with 10 apples, and the tribe members tell him to put all of them in his ass without making a sound or they’ll kill him, after the second Apple he screamed and they killed him. The next man came back with 10 grapes... after inserting 8...9 grapes


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I'm half indian and half saudi arabian

so i get my 9/11 at the 7/11

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A Indian walked into an English bar

Every English man has to leave the bar when he refused to order anything.

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A cop was interviewing a witness to a bank robbery...

Cop: Did you see the robbers?

Witness: Sort of. There were three guys wearing ski masks and an elephant.

Cop: An elephant?!

Witness: Yeah, an elephant.

Cop: Was it an African or Indian elephant?

Witness: I didn't ask where it was from.

Cop: No, African elephants have large ears, while Indian elephants are re


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An indian man, Ahors, gets a in the marine army.

It was Ahors’ first day on the job.

Commander Wollu gives him the task to clean out the windows.

When he gets there, he sees another commander, Commander Arm. He tells Ahors to go clean the toilets instead.

He next day, the same thing happens.

After this was repeated about 4 times, the man asks Commander Wollu if re assignments are common.


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I came up with a get rich quick scheme to sell Indian sourdough bread you bake at home

...but it turned out that plan was a Naan starter.

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Indian Couple wanted to have sex but their kid was not sleeping early. Father beats the kid so that he would sleep early.

One day at Indian school teacher notices that a kid has a swollen face.

And asks him: what happened to your face?

Kid: My father gave me a beating for not sleeping early.

Teacher: Oh! That's bad. She consoles him. And asks him to act as if he was asleep to avoid the beating.

The next day,

Teacher: what happened to your eye?


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What happened to the Indian who drank to much tea?

He drowned in his teepee.

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So an indian boy was meeting his girlfriends father for the first time.

The dad: ”What is your name and what are your intentions with my daugther?”

Him: ”I’m Mahput McCockinner, and I will love her until she can’t stand up on her own without a walking frame”


Note: Originally posted as a comment (by me, so no shame).

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Mary really likes Indian food now.

After she had a little lamb.

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What do you get when you shoot an Indian Mafia boss?

You Popadom

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A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

L
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.
<


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Nicki Minaj researched her family tree and discovered she was part American Indian.

The tribe: Arapahoe.

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Water Slide Incident

I go camping a lot and they have 2 different water slides. A normal slide and an inflatable that shoots water out from up top to get it wet.
Someone thought it would be a good idea to jump past where the water was reaching and belly flopped onto a non-wet plastic surface and got Indian burn all on his front side.

He then went to the office to get some aloe oil.


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My friend taught me something interesting: the swastika is an ancient Indian religious symbol, only recently appropriated by as a symbol of hate.

I said, “That’s interesting, Brett, but are you really going to explain that to every employer that asks about your tattoo?”

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An American Indian meets a cowboy

Since neither of them knows each other's language, they start a sign conversation.

Indian approaches first, pointing his finger to cowboy's chest. Cowboy responds with pointing his two fingers to Indian's face. Then Indian makes a rooftop gesture with his hands, to which cowboy reacts with a waving motion of his right hand.

Cowboy returns home and tells his


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An Indian tribe captured three men and told them to bring ten fruits of the same kind. If not, they would be killed.

One comes back with ten apples, and the tribe tells him to put them all in his ass without making a sound or they would kill him. After the second apple, he screamed and they killed him. The next man came back with 10 grapes, and after inserting 8 grapes, he laughed and they killed him. Up in heaven, the first man asked the second man why he laughed knowing he could have lived, and then he told hi


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What is the ancient Indian book of getting internet points called?

Karma Sutra

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Did you hear about the cannibalistic indian father?

He was apparently caught eating catholic naans.

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Why did the Indian man go to the doctor?

He was Sikh.

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A young woman was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback soon came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the
horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would shout out a wild "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-" so loud that it echoed off the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, she expressed her thanks, and he yelled a final "Ye-e-e-e-e


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What do you call the Indian mom driving the car?

Carma

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An Aussie, an Indian and a Chinese man where on plane

An Aussie, an Indian and a Chinese man where on a plane when the pilot came out of the cockpit and said to them

Where losing altitude you all need to throw something out of then plan that you have to many of

So the Indian man says

I’ll throw my curry out because I’ve got to much of that in my country

The Chinese man says


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In a bar, an American, an Italian, a Turkish and an Indian met.

After a few pegs, they started discussing about the great things their respective nations produced.

American: "We are proud of our CIA. They know everything that is going around the world, often even before it happens".

Italian: "We are proud of our women. They are the most beautiful in the world and are never easy to bed".

Turkish: "


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I explained to a girl in my class that I am Indian

She responds by saying “wow I’ve never met a Native American before!”....

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Translating Spanish into Indian Internet slang

Spanish : Ey Chiquita! Coma estas!

English : Hey girl! what's up!

Indian Internet slang : Hey gurrl! Sho bubz, vagene!!!

\#trueStory #peace

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A wise old Indian man

During a visit to America, Harry went on a guided tour to a Native American community which was full of original tepees and wigwams. When they got to the last tepee, the guide explained that there was an old Indian who live there that knew the answer to every question ever asked. Intrigued, Harry went in, and there was indeed surely the oldest native American Indian that had ever lived, with full


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An Indian tribe captured three men...

An Indian tribe captured three men and told them all to find 10 fruits of the same kind and if they don't they'll kill them. Tom comes back with 10 apples, and the tribe members tell him to put all of them in his ass without making a sound or they'll kill him, after the second apple he screamed and they killed him. The next man came back with 10 grapes..after inserting 8.9 grapes he


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Im trying to grow an Indian beard .

Apache here Apache there

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An elderly man finds he is unable to perform sexually.

He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

He goes to see the Indian and the medicine man says, "I can cure this."

With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing bu


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What do you call an Indian who's read a book

A read Indian !!

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