Incontinent

Jokes

I don't want my old dog to be incontinent

So I sent her to an island.

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Today I met an incontinent hippie on LSD.

He had a bad drip.

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Whats the difference between an incontinent nymphomaniac and an epileptic corn farmer?

One shits and fucks and the other shucks in fits.

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Whyd I shit myself in Australia?

I’m incontinent

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Finding out my spouse was disabled and incontinent...

Was a wife-changing experience.

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Did you hear about the incontinent tomato grower?

He soiled his plants!

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Why did the incontinent man fall down at the bar?

He had a loose stool.

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What do incontinent monkeys do?

Shit macaques

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Incontinent people need to get their shit together and clean up.

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What do you call an incontinent defensive player in American football?

A piddle linebacker

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I have a stutter and I'm incontinent.

I have a hard time telling people I'm going to shit myself.

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Why did the incontinent museum director get fired?

He kept gushing over the gallery.

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Did you hear the one about the incontinent chipmunk?

He was raised by squirrels and ate nothing but large nuts.

Rectum.

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Sometimes I wonder if my girlfriend will love me if I become incontinent.

Then I think, “No. Who could love someone so shitty?”

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What do you call it when you shit yourself during the first meal of the day?

An Incontinent-al Breakfast

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What do you call an incontinent flower?

A poops-a-daisy

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Why couldn't the incontinent man print his documents?

He couldn't Ctrl+P

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I gave my incontinent friend some adult diapers...

He's a changed man now.

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What do you call an incontinent Turkish man?

Mustafa Pee.

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What war-dance did George Washington perform after becoming incontinent? (Not gross)

The War of In-Depends Dance.

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Printer jam

Why couldn't the incontinent person print?

They couldn't Ctrl-P

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What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map?

Incontinent

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What's the difference between an incontinent person and a 1980's Renault?

One's a leaker, one's a Le Car.

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