Inappropriate

Jokes

I got fired from my job at a carpet shop

Apparently asking customers "fancy a shag?" is inappropriate ?

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A Holocaust survivor is freed from the Nazi camps

The man lives the rest of his life peacefully on the Israeli countryside and eventually dies in his sleep at the old age of 100.

Arriving at the gates of heaven, God tells the man: “Tell me a joke and you may be admitted to Heaven.”

The man thinks for a minutes and tells God a joke about the Holocaust. Of course, God is appalled: “That’s horrible a


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I found out recently that I have a disease which causes me to say inappropriate jokes.

Caught it from the faggy blacks

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Inappropriate.

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Two men are planning to take a trip to Russia

"Now, when we're there, remember that in Russia it's culturally inappropriate to be gay."

"You mean happy or homosexual?"

"Yes"

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What is your most inappropriate, sickest comment on Jeffrey Epstein?

*He died just the way he liked his girls, gagging.*

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I used to date an English teacher,

but she dumped me for inappropriate use of the colon.

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TIFU in front of my 30year old wife...

By telling my friends that last night I slept with a woman in her 20s.

Turns out, that's "inappropriate for her birthday party."

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Jokes about feminine hygiene are completely inappropriate

Period

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A patient walked in to an office to find their doctor taking inappropriate photos...

"What are you doing, doctor?" The patient asked.

​

"It's alright, they're just medic pics."

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What's a really inappropriate question to ask a sad kid from the special needs classroom?

"Why are you so down? "

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A priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench (inappropriate)

The priest says to the rabbi "see that 10 year old? I wanna fuck him"

The rabbi responds "out of what?"

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My wife says shes going to divorce me because I always get erections at inappropriate times

It won’t stand up in court

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If you were to touch an officer of the law in an inappropriate place, would you say you were going to cop a feel or feel a cop?

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In medical school, you really do learn something new every day...

...for instance, today I learned that it's inappropriate to refer to infertile people as "seedless".

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him. 6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart.
But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth.
6 respected 9, even though lewd jokes always seemed to be made about the two. 6 found that 3 and himself could come tog


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I wanted to give some money to a homeless man...

But apparently it’s inappropriate to ask him does he have an apple pay

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What is the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKED on the MOON and Michael Jackson...

...had inappropriate relationships with little boys.

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I would make a joke about my penis...

But that would be extremely inappropriate and awkward and I dont know why you would expect me to do such a thing

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I hate discussing things with Jay walkers

they always try to cross subjects at inappropriate times.

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My penis was in the Guiness Book of World Records up until...

I got kicked out of the library for being inappropriate...

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Im gonna get downvoted for this one as its really inappropriate: Why cant you gamble in Africa?

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Too many Cheetahs.

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How can someone make more free time?

You need to f*ck a clock.




(This is more of a dad joke, but i thought that it is too inappropriate for that sub)

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How can someone make more free time?

F#$ck a clock.


(This is more of a dad joke, but I thought that it's too inappropriate for that sub)

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Did you hear the one about Xi Jinping?

This joke has been flagged for violations of our new content policy, specifically our policy against inappropriate speech.

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Why is calling someone a dick an insult?

Beacause they're too rigid and stand up for inappropriate things

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When asked about the inappropriate behavior by his priests the pope said

“it’s an age old problem.”

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I got kicked out of medical school for inappropriate behaviour with the cadavers

I wasn’t a student. They just asked me to leave the property

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Why did the 2-Horned Unicorn keep getting sent home from work?

Excessive Horniness is inappropriate in the workplace

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I told my principal an incredibly inappropriate joke.

His eyes got so wide that the truancy officer needed to help him find his pupils.

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This may be offensive to CERTAIN people What do people call knives in different countries?

In England, >! Knives, duh !<

In France, >! Le chopper !<

In Italy, >! Cutolini !<

In Bristol, >! Exhibit A !<


[hey mods if this is inappropriate u can remove the posy but dont ban me pls]

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My friend told me an inappropriate joke about time travelling in video games.

Chrono Triggered

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The interview

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job?

Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.

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A TSA worker gets fired from his job.

A TSA worker was fired last week for what is decribed as inappropriate levels of contact with passengers.

When asked what were his next steps with these serious legal allegations he said he was going back to being a Catholic priest

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A joke my dad used to tell.

Little Johnny was in kindergarten when he suddenly felt the urge to pee. He raised his hand and said, “Teacher, I need to take a piss!”
The teacher said, “That is completely inappropriate! We don’t say that, we say ‘urinate’. If you ask again and use ‘urinate’ I’ll let you go.”
Little Johnny thought for a moment before sayin


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Did you hear the singer Bono has been accused of being sexually inappropriate with a fan after a show?

I guess this is the official start of the #U2 movement

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A man calls tech support.

Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'

Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.'

Customer: 'How do I get them back when she is not in?'

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The signs always say, Break glass in case of emergency, but when I had an emergency and broke the glass, my neighbor yelled at me.

Apparently, it was “highly inappropriate” to throw my drink to the floor, and I “could’ve just asked where the bathroom is.”

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MeToo seems a little inappropriate

How does a movement against rape benefit from saying "Pound me too"

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My grade school teacher would often touch me in inappropriate places.

Places like the kitchen and the living room. I hated being homeschooled

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I'm going to be a DJ at a retirement home this weekend.

With an average age of 81 years old, will the song "Last Christmas" be inappropriate?

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I airplayed youtube rewind 2018 on my class apple TV

I got expelled for showing inappropriate material

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I used to date an English teacher

But she dumped me for inappropriate use of the colon.

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In my opinion Political Correctness can go too far. For example: It is completely inappropriate to protest against the movie The last of the Mohicans just because they didnt...

use any actual Mohicans!

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I did something completely mundane and normal with my grandpa

But it was at a funeral so it was actually inappropriate

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MeToo seems like an inappropriate thing to write given the situation lately

For example, "I stand with women. Pound MeToo."

Why do people keep writing this?

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My grandfather, who was the master of inappropriate innuendo, died a few days ago.

Grandma is really taking it hard.

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I accidentally sent inappropriate photos to everyone in my address book

Not only is it embarrassing, its cost me a fortune in stamps.

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Why shouldnt you make peadophile jokes to the pope?

Because it's wholly inappropriate.

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An Inappropriate Poem

Bounced on my boy's D,

Slapped on my girl's V,

Fuck EU Article 13,

I will keep posting all my memes.

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Free Internet please.

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