Importantly

Jokes

Don't call a girl who only has guy friends a slut

And most importantly, don't call her my girlfriend

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Toddler car seats and Gaming chairs have a few things in common

They are both designed to provide comfort, both are expensive and most importantly the user always gets carried :)

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There are five things you should know when looking for in a woman:

You want a woman that will cook the best food you've ever had

You want a woman who will surprise you every day

You want a woman who will please you sexually

You want a woman who brings you happiness

And most importantly, make sure these four woman never meet.

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I was thinking about my siblings birthday...

My sibling’s birthday is coming up, and I was a little worried about what I got them as a gift.

See, while I was growing up, I always thought I had a brother, but the other day they came up to me and came out as a transgender woman. And that’s great for a lot of reasons - I’m happy that she can live her best life, and I’m proud she had the confidence to come ou


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Biggest waste of 2018

I’ve made a severe and continuous lapse of my judgment and I don’t expect to be forgiven I’m simply here to apologize.

So what we came across that day in the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw they were unfiltered.

None of us knew how to react or how to feel.

I should have never posted the video.
<


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Today, I saw someone who was both male and female.

He was such a cunt, being a dick but most importantly he was an asshole.

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My Father used to say that there are four rules for getting married:

You need a woman who loves you unconditionally, a woman who will always challenge you, a woman who you always want to make love to and most importantly, you have to make sure that none of those women ever meet!

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I think I can finally buy a BMW.

I got a new high paying job with a large bonus. My investments are doing well. And most importantly, I haven't used my turn signal in the last 6 months.

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Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?

Can't work it out. But more importantly, where is my hamster?

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If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive...

I'd be rich, but more importantly I'd be a stupid bastard that posts the same joke in /r/jokes over and over again.

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Hitler, he atac, he protec, but most importantly...

He ate a poisonous tic tac.

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Hilte, he attacc, he protecc, but most importantly...

He ate a small poison tic tacc.

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STOP REPOSTING THINGS!!

Like, comment, and most importantly, repost this to spread the word!

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Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?

And more importantly, where is my hamster?

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My rubbish dog joke

A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'. The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!' The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'

Edit: Thanks for front page, but most importantly, adding to my collection of rubbish animal jokes!


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My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.

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A man was being interviewed for a job in CIA

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible?

Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?

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The perfect name for a porn actress is Peace.

Think about it.
* She's all about love, Peace and love go together like peas in a pod
* She spreads her joy and happiness to all
* She leaves a smile on your face
* She brings people closer together

and most importantly, any guy she bangs can say "I come in Peace"

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Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water? And more importantly, where is my hamster?

\[removed\]

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What is the difference between a Wife and a Girlfriend?

Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.

At home you watch TV,
but when you go out you take your MOBILE.

Sometimes you enjoy TV.
But most of the time, you play with your MOBILE.

TV is (as good as) free for life.
But for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the


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Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?

And more importantly, where is my hamster?

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Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?

And more importantly, where is my hamster?

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A Wise Man Once Told Me...

A wise man once told me that the human brain was the most powerful tool that everybody had, but many people failed to use. "To use your brains full capacity," he said, "you must organize your thoughts into smaller groups."

The man babbled on for a while until he finally said something that I will never forget.

"First, we have the 'idea.


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We breath, we die...

But most importantly, don't forget to creampie.

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In a perfect world there would be no rape or murder

But most importantly, there would be no Justin Bieber

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Prince Harrys royal handlers must be on red alert awaiting his stag do...

NO stripping naked in Vegas, NO dressing up as a Nazi, NO drugs, NO assaulting the public and most importantly, NO tunnels!

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As a non-American, I love Donald Trump...

He is cute, funny, strong-willed, but most importantly not our president.

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How many babies does it take to paint an Irishman?

None, unless you throw them really hard

...wait I think I fucked it up

More importantly, what am I supposed to do with all these dead babies

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Can my wife apply?

A man was being interviewed for a post of a commando in Army!
interviewer:we want a person with suspicious mind,
always alert,merciless,ready to attack,acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having
a killer instinct! so do you think you are eligible?

Man Sir..... can my wife apply?


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Never ask a woman her , a man his salary and , more importantly ,

a redditor thelist of subs subscribed to

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Geeks and Sports Players

They actually have quite a bit in common.

They are both exclusive about their group.

Demonstrating lack of knowledge of their topic is sure to get a response.

But most importantly, both dream of becoming Vikings or Wizards, with incredibly strong opinions on which is the best.

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A conversation with god...

God what have you been doing up here?

Well, I send people down from heaven to spread my name. Hasn't worked out so well...

How so?

Well.... I tell this Jesus guy

"Jesus, spread the word of my name. Spread my rules to the people and offer them sanctuary when they die. Most importantly, tell them not to kill"

They kill h


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My rubbish dog joke.

A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'.
The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'

Edit: Thanks for front page, but most importantly, adding to my collection of rubbish animal jok


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Advice from my father

Son, you need a woman who can cook, a woman who can clean, a woman that is great in bed. Most importantly, you must make sure these three women never meet.


Happy Saturday night from Pennsylvania

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Army commando recruitment - from India

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.

Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing &amp; most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"

Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"


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