Implant

Jokes

A woman asked her optometrist for a diamond implant.

She wanted a Gem-in-eye

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HIP-HOP Snoop Dogg undergoes breast implant surgery amid rumors that the rapper has been wrestling with trans-gender tendencies for most of his life:

*Look, Snoop Dogg just got a fucking boob job!*

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Breast implant patient in appreciation for the surgeon's work said: "Thanks for the mammaries!"

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Miley Cyrus went to a body implant doctor and said she wanted to have a butt implant

The doctor said it wooden twerk

Credit to u/milesmac

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A women got a wooden breast implant yesterday.... it would be a funny joke if this had a punch line...

Wooden Tits

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I have decided that I am going to implant some of my brain cells into my abdomen as an experiment.

I can't wait to give that asshole a piece of my mind

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Sales have been exploding for Apple's new breast implant product

[deleted]

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What medical device helps people that are uncomfortable looking at male genitalia?

A cockleer implant.

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Did you hear about the orthopedic surgeon that replaced his knee with a metal implant?

Did you hear about the orthopedic surgeon that replaced his knee with a metal implant?

You could see the irony....

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A woman once received a wooden breast implant

It'd be nice if this joke had a punchline

Wooden tit?

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Did you hear the one about the woman with a breast implant made of wood?

It would be funny if it had a punchline

Wooden tit

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What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implant.

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implant.

One’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell and had his arm implant protude outward?

It was quite metal.

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Firefighters Use Jaws of Life to Free High School Girl from Locker FDA Approves Third Silicone-Gel Breast Implant Missing Woman Unwittingly Joins Search Party Looking for Herself Womans Stomach Bug Actually Baby

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LPT: Get a titanium implant for energy

There's an implant you can get that will give you more energy, better sleep, a safer sex life, more patience, and you'll end up with a quarter million dollars extra over the next 18 years.

I'm getting mine in March. Yay vasectomy! (http://www.torontovasectomyclinics.ca/aboutvasectomy.html)


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Whats the difference between a Greyhound bus station and a Lobster with a breast implant?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean ;)

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Tag line outside a Breast Implant Clinic:

If nature has given you "lemons"

we will re-arrange the alphabets & convert them into "melons" !!

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A woman has breast implant made from an old oak tree.

This made her breasts enormous.

This joke would be funny if it had a punchline.

Wooden tit?

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I've been seeing a lot of commercials for lawsuits concerning metal on metal hip implants.

I'm going back in time and getting a hipster implant, before metal was cool.

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The Brain Implant

Two brain-scientists are having an heated argument about wether or not having a brain implant that will explode when you say something stupid would benefit anyone:

Scientist #1:
"It would pressure them to think before they say something, thus making the amount of stupid things they say decrease."

Scientist #2:
"No it wouldn't. If they are a


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A women got a wooden breast implant the other day..

This joke would be funny if it had a punchline..

*Wooden tit?*

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The Top 15 Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant (NSFW)

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