Impeccable

Jokes

It turns out my front lawn is chicken proof.

It's impeccable.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Charlie Sheen's a fantastic swimmer!

His breast stroke's impeccable

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the criteria for being considered the best chicken farmer?

You have to be impeccable at your trade.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My lawn is chicken proof.

It's impeccable.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two Woodpeckers

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexic


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My grammar may be poor, but my grilling is impeccable.

I'd steak my reputation on that.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Damn girl are you a loan offered to those with impeccable credit and a long history of timely payments?

Because I have 0% interest

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So my kid walks inside and says,

'Hey mom, can we get one of those new chicken proof lawns for the backyard? I hear they're impeccable".

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yesterday, a Genie offered me one of three wishes...

1. A twelve inch penis,


2. Impeccable memory,


and uhhhh...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the fighting rooster who never lost a fight?

His record was impeccable.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I have a chicken proof lawn...


It's impeccable...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What kind of rooster is garunteed to win a cockfight?

An impeccable one.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I've got a chicken proof lawn

It's impeccable

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

FLATMATE JERKING

I am a international student living with another guy who also happens to be a good friend of mine. Today I knocked, ever so slightly before opening his door which is unusual for me because I usually don't open doors without knocking and making sure the person inside the room knows what's up. But today was an exception and when i opened the door I saw him with his boxers around his ankles


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the courier who became a successful comedian?

The jokes were nothing special, but his delivery was impeccable.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the worst thing for a cannibal to say to a friend?

Your family has impeccable taste.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call steel chicken feed?

Impeccable.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE