Hiding

Jokes

I had a suspicion that my son loves hiding his toys in his dessert.

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I know why theyre burning the Amazon...

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I recall the time years ago when my friend and I went on our secret spy mission. Like any other highly trained operatives, we were tasked with infiltrating the local mattress store.

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I recall the time years ago when my friend and I went on our secret spy mission. Like any other highly trained operatives, we were tasked with infiltrating the local mattress store.

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My wife gets really upset with me for hiding kitchen utensils

...but that's a whisk I'm willing to take.

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Fa Mulan, when hiding her gender, goes under the name of Ping,

Fa Ping.

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Hey girl, are you hiding opiates in your bra?

Because I see a Perky-Set.

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I wasn't hiding anything until

my friend asked me what I was hiding 14 times. Now I have a dead body to hide...

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Buried Body

Me: If I ever needed help hiding a body, I would definitely call my brother for help.

Wife: What? Why wouldn't you call me?

Me: Whose body do you think I'm hiding?

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An elephant escaped from the zoo yesterday.

Police believe it's hiding in a room somewhere. Citizens are requested not to mention it.

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Medical joke (short)

Scientists have found the gene that makes people shy. They found it hiding behind another gene.

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My nephew told me when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer.

I need to tell my bro to do a better job at hiding his porn.

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What did the pirate captain say when he caught his first mate hiding a rooster in his treasure chest?

**Get yer cock out of me booty!**

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My daughter was red-faced with embarassment when I caught her having sex with her boyfriend..

"Why are you hiding in the closet dad ? Is that a camcorder in your hand ? " Was all she could say ...

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Why do you never see hippopotamus' hiding in trees?

Because they're so good at it

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Surprise! A blonde joke!

A brunette, a ginger, and a blonde are all running from the police. They come across a barn and decide it’s the best place to hide. Once inside, they find a few empty burlap sacks. The police arrive after just a few minutes. Their dogs quickly move the officers towards the burlap sacks where these convicts are hiding.

The dog sniffs the sack where the ginger is hiding and he st


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My wife caught me in the kitchen with a gun

"What are you doing waving a gun around?" she asked
"Hunting Decepticons - they can be hiding anywhere!" I replied.
She started laughing, I started laughing, and then the toaster laughed so I shot it.

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What's the name of this German guy that keeps hiding all my stuff? Asked grandfather his grandson.

Alzheimer, grandpa.

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Why do you never see Elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're really good at it.

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Hey girl, are you hiding opiates in your bra

Because I see a perky-set

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My wife found out I was cheating on her, after she found all the letters I was hiding.

She got so mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

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A man and his wife were going out for the evening.

A man and his wife were going out for the evening and the last thing they did was let the cat out. As they were going to the taxi, the cat went back inside. The husband ran inside to get him while the wife waited in the car. Not wanting it to be known that the house would be empty to the taxi driver the wife said, “My husband just went inside to say goodbye to my mother.” The husband c


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The Queen gets a new kitten.

One day, the kitten simply disappears and the Queen can't find it anywhere. Hearing some faint scratching sounds in a hole in the castle wall, the King orders the hole widened. But, the wall cracks and comes crashing down. Luckily, the noise got the kitten to appear safely from a different hiding spot.

The next day, the kingom newspaper reports: KING UNABLE TO LOCATE QUEEN'S


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My penis is a coward.

It's hiding under my belly.

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I am married half the time

I am hiding the other half.

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Have you ever been caught bumming?

No!

Well, you must have found a good hiding place then!

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re so good at it.

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They have just found the gene for shyness.

They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes

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Why don't you ever see giraffes hiding in trees?

Because r/giraffesdontexist.

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Why don't we see giraffes hiding in trees?

Because r/giraffesdontexist.

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Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees?

Because they're really good at it.

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Never play hide and seek with a friend who makes penis jokes all the time...

you can guarantee they are hiding in the closet.

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St. Peters in a bad mood and decides today hes only going to let people who died in really sad ways through the pearly gates.

The first man in line asks if he can go through, so St. Peter asks him “How did you die?” He says “Well, I was at work today when I had a sudden hunch that my wife was cheating on me. I quickly drove home, and went into my apartment. I walked inside and headed straight for my bedroom. There, I found my wife lying naked on the bed, but no man around. I quickly started searching my


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Two men waiting at the gates

“2 men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the 1st guy “
How does it feel to freeze to death?" "It's very uncomfortable at first," says the 2nd man. "You get the shakes, and you get these sharp


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What did the cop say to the other cop after he arrested the criminals hiding in a gay bar?

"I caught them fucking asshole!"

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Im not sure if this has been posted before but its my favorite joke so here goes. Why cant you ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re so good at it

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Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a bush?

(No) It’s because he was hiding.

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Why dont we ever see elephants hiding behind cars

Because they’re good at it

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Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees very often?

Because they are really good at it.

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Why do you never see an elephant hiding in a bush?

They are really good at hiding

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What do you call a Mexican hiding in a shag?

A José

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're REALLY good at it.

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Two Lions Hiding in a Bush

They see a rabbit. So the one lion says:

"You see that rabbit. When he gets here I'm going to ask him where his hat is. Then when he can't tell me, we can beat the heck out of him."

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So the rabbit approaches the bush and the lions jump out and the one lion says "Hey rabbit where's your hat?"

T


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Have you ever been caught.

Have you ever been caught masturbating underneath the kitchen table

No:

Me neither how good of a hiding spot is it!

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Why dont you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree?

Because they are awesome at it.

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Why cant you see elephants in trees?

Because they are really good at hiding

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Little Red Riding Hood sets out to go visit her grandmother, who lives in another village

As she's walking on the forest road, she sees the big, bad wolf hiding behind a shrub. She stops and says:

\-My, what big red eyes you have!

The wolf looks at her and leaves without saying a word, dissapearing in the dense forest. Little red riding hood continues walking on the same forest road, and after some time she sees the same wolf, this time hiding behind a b


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Q: Why don't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree?

A: Because they're really good at it!

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because theyre good at it.

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Why don't we ever see elephants hiding in trees?

because they're hiding.

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