Hide

Jokes

Q: Why can't a leopard hide?

*A: Because he's always spotted!*

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why can't a leopard hide?

He's always spotted

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

A: Because he was always spotted.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If you want to hide a dead body, hide it in Quadrant 3...

If you do, there will be no sines of its disappearance.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You can run but you can't hide

Is a funny thing to say to children with asthma

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How did Lex Luthor hide his money laundering from superman?

He used a krypton-currency.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Do you know where in a hospital the invisible man cant hide?

The I.C.U.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Think about it, never seen an elephant in a cherry tree have you?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When I come to work, I always hide...

Because a good employee is hard to find!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide-and-seek.

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide-and-seek.

It's Einstein's turn to seek, and he starts counting to 100. Meanwhile, Pascal runs away and hides.

Newton, on the other hand, just stands there, pulls out a piece of chalk from his pocket, draws a 1m x 1m square on the ground, and stands in it.

When Einstein finished counting, he turns around,


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To the person who stole my animal skins

You can run, but you can't HIDE.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To the handicapped person who stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide, but you can't run!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do elephants have red eyes? So that they can better hide in cherry trees.

Have you ever seen an elephant sitting in the cherry tree?
You can see how well it works..

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To the bastard who stole my high-vis jacket.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket:

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why does pussy have hair around it?

To hide the hook.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If you're chasing a guy in a turban

Are you playing hide and Sikh?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the coffee bean hide in the tree?

He heard he was going to be grounded.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Where did the Mexican man hide when he was scared?

Hispanic room

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To whoever stole my trainers and high-vis jacket :

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Arabic joke and sorry for any wrong grammar

A man riding his horse into the woods with his dog

The horse looks to the man and said it is a long road
The man realized the horse is a ghost
The man fled into the woods
And hide behind a tree his dog look at him and said fuk that horse he scared the shit out of me

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I think it's funny when dogs hide under the bed when they're scared.

I'm like "You idiot, that's the first place monsters go!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the three best things about Alzheimer's?

1. You get to hide your own Easter eggs. 2. You get to meet new people everyday.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To whoever stole my shoes and hi-vis vest

You can run but you can't hide

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To whoever stole my shoes and floro vest

You can run but you can't hide

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"Let's play hide and seek. If you find me you get to have sex with me"

"If you don't, I'm in the closet"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket:

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two Gay Guys Are Looking For Something To Do

First Guy: I know! Let's play "Hide and Go Seek," if you find me, I'll give you a blowjob.

Second Guy: What if I *don't* find you?

First Guy: I'll be behind the piano.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's Blonde and dead in a closet?

The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

With all these shootings, wherever I walk into a public place with my family I think about what I would do if a shooter came in...

... ... I guess I would hide under my kids.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Man in a wheelchair stole my army jacket..

I yelled at him: You can't run but you can hide!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why does a catholic priest wear a holy dress?

To hide the alter boy underneath.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I wasn't hiding anything until

my friend asked me what I was hiding 14 times. Now I have a dead body to hide...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I had a terrible day yesterday.

As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, "you can hide but you can't run!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was playing hide and seek in the park the other day, and couldnt find anyone. All I saw was dog crap.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A bunch of Jews, being chased by the Nazi SS, decide to hide in an unused lift of some side alley building.

They hid in the Schindler's Lift.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Little Bobby is angry at his sex-ed teacher, because he didnt pass the last exam

Now he plans his revenge with his friend Sam, who also failed in sex-ed.
Bobby: Listen, you will hide on this side of the door, and when she comes in you throw your jacket over her head, so she cant see us, then i will kick her in the balls.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Albert Einstein, Mari Curie, Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal all decide to play hide and seek in a laboratory.

They all decide that Einstein, Newton and Pascal will hide, while Mari counts.

Einstein hides in a cupboard.

Pascal hides under a desk.

Newton, out of places to hide, grabs a piece of chalk and draws a 1x1 meter square on the floor in front of Mari and stands in it.

When Mari opens her eyes, she see's Newton.

"Newton! I


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Albert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton decided to play a game of hide and seek.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Albert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton decided to play a game of hide and seek.

Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting.


Pascal runs off to hide but Newton takes a chalk and marks a 1m×1m square on the floor and stands in it.


"Ready or not, here I come!" Einstein exclaims while he opens his eyes. He sees Newton standing out in the open and says "Haha, I found you Newton!"


Newton re


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does a cow hide from predators?

Ca-moooo-flage

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why is Caitlyn Jenners dad so good at hide and seek?

He’s trans-parent!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

To the handicapped guy who stole my camouflage jacket...

you can hide but you can't run!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why can't you play hide and seek with mountains

Because they are always peaking

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you say to a camouflaged person in a wheelchair?

You can hide, but you can’t run!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Do you know where in the hospital the invisible man can't hide?

The I.C.U

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A game of hide and seek

4 brothers were playing a game of hide and seek; Manners, None of your business, Shit and Trouble.
Manners, being the oldest, is elected as the seeker. Not long after finishing counting, he finds None of your business and Shit. Trouble, the youngest of the brothers, is noted as the best hide and seek player so they team up to find him.
After half an hour of non-stop searching, they fai


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm a 21 year old with the brain of a 10 year old...

Where do I hide the brain?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Some people say Your gay but they say that to hide their gayness

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A student is going to the bathroom with his backpack.

Teacher asks: Why do you need a backpack in the bathroom?
The student: Where else would I hide the gun?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE