Heretic

Jokes

What did the inquisitor say when the heretic asked him the time?

"Apostate"

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What do you call a robot heretic ?

Heretech

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God is waiting at the gates of heaven, and is waiting to give judgement to the next batch of people

the first man comes in. he is a priest. god asks "how did you die?" the man replies, "I was shot while I was having sex." god says that he can't have sex, being a priest and sworn to chastity, and god sends him to hell.

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the second man appears. god asks "how did you die?" the man says "I killed myself out of guilt af


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One day I was walking across the bridge when I saw a man about to jump off...

I immediately shouted to him, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why not?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious or not?" "I am!" "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me


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One day I was walking across a bridge when I saw a man about to jump off. I immediately shouted to him, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why not?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious or not?"

"I am!"

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"


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The Pastafarian heretic sealed his sieve, flattened it and declared it a deity.

He is a Pantheist.

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Two friends, one is a religionist, the other is a heretic

Despite their huge difference they were best friends since childhood. While religionist one praying, the heretic one drinking all the time and hanging out with hookers. The heretic one suddenly died one day and religionist one prayed so much for him as he has been doing everyday.
When the religionist one also died, he directly went to heaven. He was happy but wondering how was his best frie


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If I ever ran a tobacco company...

... I'd name my cigarettes "heretics". So anyone could burn his own heretic every single day.

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Fed up with all the denouncements, God finally decides to appear in front of an atheist...

To show that he is the Allmighty and omnipotent and put the heretic to his place, God asks the atheist for one wish that he *will* grant.

Atheist, after a careful consideration, replies:

"Erase my memory of this incident."

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The Heretic

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too!


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Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

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I was walking across a bridge...

and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

I said, "Well there's so much to live for."

"Like what?"

"Well, are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."


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The heretic

* xpost from /r/ELINT's ["what's your favorite denominational or interfaith joke?"](http://www.reddit.com/r/ELINT/comments/13t7sx/all_whats_your_favorite_denominational_or/)

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I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn�


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