Heated

Jokes

I was in the middle of a heated conversation when I said "Mark my words!!"

It's nice to have a guy called Mark bringing my dictionary to me whenever I need it.

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Me:watches argument about global warming

Also me: *oh shit thing are getting heated*

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My wife and I got into a heated row.

"I get it," I declared. "You think I'm an arsehole."

"No, I don't," she said. "Because arsehole's have a purpose."

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I'm writing a book called "Fair In Height, For 5'1""

It's about a short guy that gets too heated at a bagel store.

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Got into a heated argument with a guy...

He said "How about you go home and blow your dad?"

I replied "I'm not sure my head would fit in the urn. Even if it did, I'm don't even where to begin."

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A supposed friend of mine and I were having a heated discussion about all this plastic waste were generating. I decided we couldnt be friends anymore after he brought up straws.

I can’t be friends with someone who makes straw-ban arguments.

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A father and son are having a heated argument

The son storms off and shouts, "Jim Morrison was a shitty lyricist!"

The father replies, "What did I tell you about slamming Doors in my house?"

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What's the difference between a warm sweet potato and a thrown pig?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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Confessing your sins NSFW i guess

A guy who had done wrongs in his life went to church to confess
He goes to the confessional and the priest asks him
P - What sins have you done, son?
S - I sinned, father, I went to send something to my sister in law and before going out it started raining, so i stayed in her house and things heated up and i fucked her
P - That's a big sin but I'll forgive you, s


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Whats the difference between a baked sweet potato and a flying pig?

One’s a heated yam and the other’s a yeeted ham.

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A doctor and his wife are having a heated argument over breakfast.

The fight gets heated, both say things they’d soon regret, and he caps it off with “...and sex with you ain’t so great anyway!” before storming off to work.

During his lunch time, he feels horrible, and decides to call his wife to apologize. After 10 rings, she finally answers.

“What took you so long to answer?” he asks.

&


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What happens when the cast of a certain HBO series gets into heated debates and elevating their voices at one another?

Game of Tones

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Never have a heated conversation with a police officer by the pool

If it gets heated enough, you're never gonna get out of that polwater

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Did you hear about the radiators that got into an argument?

It was a pretty heated discussion!

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You know what I like most about heated debates?

The free sauna

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People get so heated up about if the milk comes first in tea or cereal

Personally i prefer to put the tea in first, then the milk, then the cereal.

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Three blonds decide to go hunting.

Eventually, they come across some tracks. One blond says they're bear tracks. Another calls her an idiot, claiming they're clearly deer tracks. The third blond is really regretting this trip, she can see they've circled back upon their own tracks, and are now lost. The argument was just getting heated when the train hit em!


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Never argue about climate change

It always turns into a heated debate

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My friend got into an heated argument with a midget...

.... He asked the midget what's your height. Baffled by the question midget replied 4'5 with a pause. To this my friend answered that's the size of my d**k.

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Whats the difference between a warm yam and a thrown pig?

One is a heated yam, the other is a yeeted ham.

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What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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Man, all these arguments about global warming..

They're just so heated...

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Why are older people grumpy?

I’d be heated too that many times around the sun.

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Me and my wife have been arguing over the thermostat

It got pretty heated last night but it will soon cool off

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Yes, hello 911?

My co-worker just heated up salmon in the microwave

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An 80-year-old man walks into a diner.

He sits down, asking for a waiter.

She shows up, holding a menu and pen, when the men says he wants breakfast

The woman replies "Well sir, we have cer-"

"No! I want a hot breakfast, just like they used to make back in the 60s."

She responds with an "ok," and heads back into the kitchen. Minutes later she steps out, s


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Jesus and the Pharisees were having a heated debate

Pharisees:YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
Jesus: I AM THE TRUTH

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So I got into a heated argument with a blind man

One thing led to another and he said to me “You want to take this outside”

I replied, “we already are.”

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What did the small business owner say to the bank after a heated argument about lending options?

Leave me A LOAN.

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I tried to get my stovetop to be more friendly by making it say Hi all the time.

Things got heated pretty quickly.

;)

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Why did your previous relationship end?

one day, the argument got so heated that she took off her wig, cleaned her makeup and faced me man to man

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Sometimes I have imaginary arguments in the shower.

They are all heated arguments.

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What do you call a heated conversation between two fisherman?

Debait.

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There once was a heated debate between two groups of art students

One group wanted two draw a necklace and one group wanted to draw a scarf. They decided that the only way to make a decision was by taking a vote so that's what they did.

In the end, they drew a tie.

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If the US has a heated debate over global warming that polarizes the nation

desn't that mean problem solved?

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I lost my friends after a heated game of Blackjack.

In hindsight, improvising with a Tarot deck was probably a bad idea.

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One day James got into a heated dispute with his teacher Mr Richard

He called him a "motherfucker" to which Mr Richard responded with

"Damn right I am that's why your here now shut the fuck up and sit down you son of a bitch."

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Kendall Jenner and her mom Caitlyn Jenner are in a heated argument.

Caitlyn says: "It's true, Kendall. You have to believe me!"

Kendall says furyously: "I see straight through your lies. You are so trans parent!"

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I wish Ford installed heated bumpers.

Would keep my hands warm while I’m pushing it to the side of the freeway.

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Kendall Jenner and her dad Caitlyn Jenner are in a heated argument.

Caitlyn says: "It's true, Kendall. You have to believe me!
Kendall says furyously: "I see straight through your lies. You are so trans parent!"

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NSFW My girlfriend loves heated cider

With fall arriving, it's time for heated apple cider. But she is very insistent that it be from the Cummins Farm. She really loves some hot Cummins Cider

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Wont happen again

The souls of all people departed in a bus accident are standing in line for being sorted in heaven or hell when a man shows up antsy and looks at the first guy in line and asks "Come here, are you the bus driver? "


"Yes Lord" says the dazed out driver who looks at him and at once recognizes Jesus


"And this is the bus you banged. Is


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What do you call a heated argument between dogs?

A pissing contest

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I had a girlfriend and her favorite Pixar movie was "Up".

This was 2010 and she had it on blue ray, and we would watch it at least once a week at her apartment. But after like the 40th time, I confronted her and said I was tired of watching. The argument got heated; it didn't help that we were drunk. Suddenly, she pushed me and I fell on something. I turned and saw the disk broken; she cried hysterically.
At this moment, I knew, we broke Up...


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Two vegans got into an argument

The beef got heated quickly

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What pops when heated and used by alot of the poor and rural farmers?

Crystal meth.

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I recently had a heated debate with a mathematician about fractions

It's fair to say that our opinions were divided

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A student and a biology teacher are having a heated discussion.

Teacher: For the last time, a whale cannot swallow a grown man! It's that simple

Student: Alright, well when I go to heaven I'll go ask Jonah.

Teacher: And what if Jonah is in hell?

Student: You can ask him for me then.

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I was getting heated in an argument with this guy who was trying to convince me that people who jerk off to furries aren't degenerates...

But then I won and the guy started crying with tears streaming down his face and that's when I realized that I was arguing with a mirror.

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A so-called friend of mine and I were having a heated discussion regarding what to do with all of the plastic waste we are generating. I decided we couldnt be friends when he brought up straws.

I can’t be friends with someone who makes straw-ban arguments.

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