Harry

Jokes

What did Harry say when he met Hermione after puberty?

Erectus Maximus

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does Harry Potter perform abortions?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How did Harry go down the hill? By running?

JK (Rowling)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do Harry Potter fans call Siri?

Sirius

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats Harry Potters favourite way of getting around?

Walking?

JK, Rowling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Harry Styles identifies as a feminist...

...I just want to have his DMs for 10 minutes.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What does Harry Styles call his boner?

Wonder Erection.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is Harry Potters favourite way to go down a hill? Walking.

Jk. Rowling.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

-Harry, do you really speak language of snakes?

\-Yes, I do.

\-Can you please say something in that language?

\-Make a choice: me or your friends!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does Harry potter prefer to get down a hill?

walking

​

​

​

jk rolling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does Harry Potter go down a hill?

Walking nah j.k Rowling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is Harry Potters favorite way to get down a hill? Walking....

J.K. Rowling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How did Harry Houdini know he was going to die?

He felt it in his gut.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

-What's Harry Potter's best way of moving?

It's running.

JK Rolling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does Harry Potter go down a hill?

He walks




J.k Rowling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did Harry Potter say after he fell down the stairs?

Ahh! I hurt my-a knee. (her-mi-o-ne)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does Harry Potter go down a hill?

Walking...



JK Rolling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's Harry Potters favorite way to get down a Hill?

What's Harry Potters favorite way to get down a Hill?

Walking
...
J.K. Rowling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Harry G

Tony.?#$@???.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the most unrealistic part of the Harry Potter series?

That a ginger has two friends at school

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I've been listening to Harry Styles' new music recently and I must say...

He has gotten a lot better ever since he went in the other direction.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My boyfriend is a huge fan of Harry Potter

He always wears an invisibility cloak

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Harry Potter wakes up in hospital.

"Welcome back. You've been in a coma for 8 years" says the doctor. "You ran face first into a wall lmao"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why is Voldemort barefoot?

Because Harry stole his horcrocs.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

"You're a light bulb harry"

"I'm a watt?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Jews?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How does one get Dick from Harry?

You simply ask him, to join the skoptsy.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

NSFW Which position is Harry Potter's favourite?

- Dobby style.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Harry Potter was golfing and brought Hagrid along as a caddy. Harry was lining up for a tough spot, and Hagrid knew he was going to miss. So Hagrid leaned in and said

“You’re not a wizard Harry”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

It could've been worse.

James is walking on a downtown street one day, and he happens to see his old high school friend, Harry, a little ways up ahead. "Harry, Harry, how are you?" he greets his old buddy after getting his attention.

​

"Not so good," says Harry.

​

"Why, what happened?" James queries.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Harry Potter walks into a bar...

Cuz his uncle put em up on his window

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Out of 10, How much do you love Harry Potter?

About 9 3/4

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is your favorite Harry Potter book

Mein is Adolf hitler and the chamber of gas

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Tom dick and Harry are onboard a plane that's about to crash


God appeared and make a deal with them, "give me $20 and jump and I'll save your lives" he said.

Tom reach into his pocket and give God $20 and jumped out the plane. He landed into a pool of water and survived.

Dick handed God his $20 and jumped, he then landed on a pile of snow and survived.

Harry reached into his pocket and give God a


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking.
JK Rolling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How did Aunt Marge react to Harry Potter being a wizard?

She was blown away.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did Harry say to Hermione when she lent him a galleon?

Thanks for the gold kind Granger!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats Harry Potters favorite way of getting down the hill?

Walking

JK Rolling

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What does Harry Potter say when he needs a condom in his wallet?

Condominium!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did Harry Potter say when getting an abortion?

Fetus deletus

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

In the early 1900s, there were a number of deaths caused by people putting themselves in and trying to escape risky situations such as being handcuffed underwater etc. People blamed Harry Houdini, but I don't think he was really responsible...

...he was just the escape G.O.A.T.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hagrid cuts Harry's tail

"Your're a lizard, Harry"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The character of Nearly Headless Nick was a bit of a letdown in the Harry Potter movies.

In the books, he had so much more development, including an entire deathday party. In the movies though, he was just so badly executed.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A wizard casts a spell and sees Harry Potter in the cockpit of a jet

“Get your feet off the instrument panel!”

Harry complies with the disembodied order from the com.

“And take that broom out of the yoke before you kill everyone!”

Harry grumbles, but complies.

“Did you brush your teeth?”

Exasperated, Harry says, “You can't be serious. Why are you so pissy


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do call Harry Potter's semen?

Wiz Jizz

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hagrid cremates Harry Potter and throws his ashes into a snowstorm

"You're a blizzard, Harry"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Tony Harry

Ray G.?#$@???.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Harry Potter and the knock knock joke.

V : Knock knock


Muggle : Who's there?



V : You know...



Muggle: You know who?



V : Yes.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE