Handicapped

Jokes

What do you call handicapped kids doing karate?

partial-arts

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To the handicapped person who stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide, but you can't run!

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The IRS catches wind that an old fisherman isn't paying his workers correctly.

An IRS agent goes down to the docks and approaches the old man as he is scrubbing the deck on his ship. "Excuse me sir. I need a list of all of your workers and how much you pay each one!" The IRS agent exclaims.
The old man slowly puts away his brush and seems to think for a moment before saying "Well... I only really have two workers. The first one is a young man. He happen


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Men are like parking spots.

The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

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To the handicapped guy who stole my camouflage jacket...

you can hide but you can't run!

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It's insensitive to call disabled twins "handicapped"

The correct term is "impaired".

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No one thinks my jokes about the handicapped are funny

I guess they’re just retarded

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I asked a handicapped girl to prom.

I figured it was Chernobyl thing to do.

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What do you call a physically handicapped African mammal that doesn't practice what they preach?

A hippo-crip

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What did the handicapped person say about his prosthetic arms?

These come in handy.

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A mom and dad read their sons browsing history

On it, they find that the son had been watching porn featuring mentally handicapped people.

The mom says “This is disgusting, I don’t even know what you would call this.”

The dad says “Yeah, it’s just fucking stupid.”

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I was at a concert, and there was a handicapped soloist on the stage.

"Break a leg!" I shouted.

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There's this handicapped politician who I'm unsure of.

I just don't understand what his stance is on certain issues.

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What do you call a handicapped Hispanic?

A Mexi-can't.

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As a handicapped person, Ill always defend my parking spot

The time where people ran over me is past

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Why shouldnt we make fun of handicapped people?

Because if not for them, we wouldn’t have any parking spaces.

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To the handicapped guy who stole my purse,

you can hide but you can’t run.

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To the handicapped man who stole my wallet

To the handicapped man who stole my wallet:
"You can hide, but you can’t run."

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A handicapped kid wants to be an astronaut.

Because he has spacial needs.

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An handicapped kid wants to be an astronaut.

Because he has spacial needs.

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An handicapped kid wants to an astronaut.

Because he has spacial needs.

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I went to see a cover band full of handicapped people once.

They were called Syndrome of a Downs

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An Alien once asked me what it's like on my Planet

I responded "we have 76 Genders and I'm mentally handicapped because I identify as a Christian."

I've not been allowed on their Homeworld since!

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Karen and I got divorced and she took our handicapped kids

I’m not even mad, I hate vegetables

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What do you call a handicapped Spanish demon?

El Disablo

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Excuse me sir, you have to be handicapped to park in that spot.

“Vaccines cause autism.” I responded.

“Nevermind, you may park there.”

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What does handicapped protesters stands for?

They can’t

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I was going to comment on a post earlier about handicapped people but I didnt.

All the comments were disabled.

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Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

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What do you call it when a woman lies in bed with two handicapped boys who lack 1 arm and 1 leg?

911 (noone will get it 100%)

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Amateur golf should be included in paralympics

because they are all handicapped

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We have made great strides....

in improving the quality of life for the physically handicapped.

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Jokes about the handicapped aren't funny

No one knows what it's like to not walk a mile in their shoes.

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What do you call an octopus with only seven tentacles?

Handicapped.

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How many trump supporters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

IDK, but its probably not safe to let the mentally handicapped play with electricity.

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What do you call an animal that climbs up a mountain with 3 legs and comes down with 4

A horny handicapped dog

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What do you call handicapped triplets?

Triple cripple

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My buddy called me and asked me to go with him to a handicapped support group

He said the place is guna be crawlin with pussy!

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What did the white police officer say to the black transvestite gay married bisexual autistic handicapped veteran?

We won't know until the internal investigation is completed.

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I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour.

Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.

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Someone made a post offending handicapped people, but I didnt reply.

The comments were disabled.

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I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl

Momma always taught me to eat my vegetables.

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What do you call a group of handicapped people?

A vegetable medley.

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Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...


The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

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Christopher Reeves died 14 years ago, and we lost Stephen Hawking just recently...

...that means the only handicapped celebrity left from the 90's is Donald Trump!

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Dating after 30 is like trying to find a parking space...

All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped

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I dont know why everyones so upset that I helped my handicapped uncle jack

off the horse

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To the handicapped guy that stole my bag

You can hide, but you can’t run.

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Dating in your 30s is like trying to find a carpark

All the good ones are taken.. and the rest are either handicapped or too far away.

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Why do people with handicapped plates drive slow?

The car isn't handicapped!

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